another time when I was probably 13 I was playing Chip in this really spectacular production of Beauty and the Beast and even though I had to be constantly reminded back stage to Shut Up, I took acting Very Seriously my obnoxious 13-year-old behavior never made it out of the wings
except this one time when Bell’s dad Maurice had just escaped the wolves at the beginning of the show and Lumière and the other furniture sat him down and welcomed him and they wheeled me over in my cart to give him a cup of tea and idk WHY bc we’d done this scene 1 million times before but I wasn’t mic’d and when Maurice took a “sip” out of what was literally my head I quietly gurgled “aeEEEeeee my brains”
and only he heard it and I really fucked him up and took him a while to recover
was worried I wouldn’t be able to find a photo of me in all my glory but here it is
I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.
This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.
OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:
“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”
“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”
“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”
YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”
myblog 