Venom (2018) dir. Ruben Fleischer v. Twilight (2008) dir. Catherine Hardwick
honestly like with ppl being socialised into the idea of an inhumanly strong and somewhat disturbing monster obsessed with protecting the protagonist as romantic is it any wonder we all saw Venom as a romcom
Venom is just Twilight except Meyer was a COWARD for not giving Edward the full terato look
it’s kind of hilarious how some people actually do think mcu tony would feel offended by the superiority of shuri’s intellect like?? first of all he immediately hit it off with bruce, who’s technically smarter than him in a bunch of areas according to some marvel fan ratings. he acknowledges steve as the chief battle strategy voice while in the field. he literally made pepper his boss. helen cho talked about her regeneration craddle to tony like “this is the future, your clunky metal suits will be left to dust” and tony was all “great! that is EXACTLY the plan” he’s out there funding university research and enabling the superhero dreams of teens he saw on YouTube and whose coding abilities actually already beat his own like what on earth made people start thinking tony “futurist” stark is intimidated by human progress
How people think Tony would react: someone more clever than me? dishonor!
How Tony would actually react: you science? I science too!
complains about coffee grounds in the sink disposal
calls pepper “honey”
makes everyone green smoothies in lidded cups
makes clint’s medical appointment over the phone
keeps kids’ drawings lying around the house
has “date nights” with his S.O. who runs a big company
goes to therapy
conclusion:
maverick genius businessman tony stark, the iron man, is a trophy housewife
All of Tony’s actions starting from Iron Man 2, in which he made his girlfriend his CEO, are actually parts of an elaborate plan to achieve his ultimate secret goal. He finally got the Trophy Husband part down, all that remains now is to become Stay At Home Dad. His final form.
Taron is actually surprisingly good. The best person I’ve ever trained. He’s a really fast learner. I wanted Taron to look like archery is his second nature. Like it’s fast and dynamic, so he’d shoot an arrow without thinking — Lars Anderson, Taron’s archery trainer.
Taron could fire three arrows a second. He could hit moving targets in the air. He was a really impressive archer by the end of the training — Otto Bathurst, director of Robin Hood (2018)
my headcanon for nick fury not calling captain marvel in right away is that they had a bet back in the 90s on how long nick will survive without her help. they bet on 30 years, and nick almost caved when battle of new york happened but that suicidal motherfucker yeeted the nuke into spaceso it was all good, no need for carol yet when he has the avengers, but then the avengers broke apart and nick silently prayed that theyd reunite to kick thanos’ ass but they failed and that is why he said “motherfucker” in disappointment at the end of infinity war, cause only 2 damn years left and he’d win the fuckin bet of the century but the Avengers had to go and Be The Worst At Everything and make him lose the stupid bet God dammit
i like how this implies that Nick Fury was more pissed off upon losing the bet than he was at fucking dying
you are a fool if you think nick fury doesnt have absolute control over his own life and death
Peter Parker, a Gen Z kid, screws up: Fuck, guess I’ll kill myself.
Steve Rogers, an artist during the 30’s and a soldier during WWII who knows full well what Dadaism and fatalistic humor are: There’s bleach under the sink–
Bucky Barnes, the guy who listened to Steve’s art rants in the 30’s, watched his back in WWII and went through 70+ years of shit: –And a rope in the supply closet if you want options.
Rest of the Avengers: ?????!!!!!!!?????
Shuri, also a gen z kid: don’t be a coward, jump out the window. Have some style would you
Vision, the human internet who knows what Gen Z humor is: do a flip
You have no idea how much I want Rhodey to be Carol’s link to the Avengers, when she eventually shows up in A4. Imagine Tony, Cap and Thor are already on the offensive, ready to fight, and she’s prepared to kick their asses, when Rhodey’s like, “Wait, that’s Carol!” By then, she recovers all of the memories that the Kree took from her and she knows he’s the same young pilot she used to have a competitive rivalry with, but that he was also her friend (maybe more). On Rhodey’s part, he never knew what happened to Carol. She simply disappeared one day and no one at the Air Force had any answers.
WHEDON HOW CAN YOU SAY HE HAS AN EGO DO YOU NOT SEE THIS SHIT. DO YOU NOT SEE HIM LOOKING PHYSICALLY UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE OF THE CAMERA DO YOU NOT SEE THE REST OF THE COMMANDOS NOT GIVING TWO SHITS ABOUT THE CAMERA BECAUSE THEY HAVE BIGGER THINGS TO THINK ABOUT AND STEVE IS THERE THINKING “SHIT SHIT DON’T LOOK AT ME DON’T TRACK ME I DON’T WANT TO BE THE ARMY’S DANCING MONKEY I WANT TO DO SOME GOOD, QUIT FOLLOWING ME”
“A MATCH OF EGOS” WITH TONY STARK WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL
Headcanon where Bucky used to “accidentally” damage newsreel cameras to make Steve feel better.
I love you all and I love this analysis but i think y’all are mistaking two different kind of ego. This is a hot take that will probably get me in trouble, but
Tony’s got a very performative kind of ego. A kind of “Oh look at me look how amazing I am” ego.
You know, the kind that often goes hand in hand with those pesky self-esteem issues that Tony has in spades. Genius Billionaire Playboy Attention-Seeker. If you scratch that shiny surface, he’s a hot mess, always second-guessing himself.
Oh but Steve (god love him) Steve’s just so sure, you know? This is Right and that is Wrong and yeah, he’s a smart guy and understands the complexity in a situation but Red Skull wasn’t all that far off the mark when he said that Steve-o does arrogance better than anyone. It just looks different when he does it.
Put it this way: can you imagine Tony delivering a line like this:
… with that level of confidence? No. Tony would be all tortured and angsty about it, but not Steve. And that’s its own kind of confidence, it’s own kind of ego.
Steve might not be comfortable in front of a camera (sing me the song of Steve Rogers’ body dysmorphia I am here for that shit) but Steven “tree by the river of truth” Rogers consults his own moral compass (aka his opinion of what is right and what is wrong) first and last and always. Yeah, it’s admirable. It’s also egotistical as fuck. Who died and made him king of right and wrong, huh?
In Sum: If ego is “a sense of self-esteem or self-importance” Steve got all the self-esteem (at least in terms of morality) and Tony got all the self-importance (at least in terms of who should be the center of attention At All Times) but they’re both egotistical af.
Tony’s ego is about being seen, Steve’s ego is about being right. They’re both struggling against their own egos, with varying levels of success.
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