I’m so sorry you’ve lost friends! I honestly haven’t “come out” anywhere other than in my internet life. My family has never been one to discuss our personal/romantic/sexual lives with each other, so it’s not something that would ever even come up in that arena for me. If they googled me, I’m sure they would find out, and I’m fine with that, but I have the feeling most of them assume I’m just an ally, rather than actually part of the queer community.
The thing about asexuality, you see, is it’s hard to define yourself by something you’re NOT. It feels different on tumblr and twitter, because these forms of social media have a language and understanding that make it easy to express oneself that doesn’t exactly translate to “the real world.”
For me, because of the fact that I ended up in a monogamous hetero relationship, I think most people assume I’m just straight (even though I’ve been in serious relationships with women in the past). I wouldn’t ever say “I’m fine with that” and if it ever came up, I’d be sure to set the record straight (haha pun). But it’s not something I’ve gone around preemptively “well, actually”ing. More power to you, though, if you’re being that vocal in your own life. It sounds like it comes with a cost for you, but your bravery is admirable!
I think my main concern with uninvitedly broadcasting my asexuality is that I worry people who aren’t regularly part of discussions of sexuality (which tumblr is) will take it as some kind of sex shaming. And I would never want to make anyone feel bad for their own sexualities, especially if it’s something that they’ve had a difficult time embracing. Sex positivity is such a tenuous thing in so many circles, that I worry about damaging that, and I want to be extra careful.
It’s a sad thing that your friends weren’t able to support you, but I also wonder what their own damage is? Did they somehow take your asexuality personally because they were in unhealthy emotional situations? Like assume you were judging them for being sexual people because they were ashamed of their own sexual natures because society will do that to a person? Obviously this is not your fault in any way whatsoever. I hope working toward a sex-positive culture will benefit everyone, especially asexuals in situations like this!
The worst part of Pride each year is riding the subway late at night and seeing the gay guys, mostly the ones riding by themselves, slowly take off their rainbow stickers and beads and what-not in preparation for their walk alone in their neighborhood, doing their best to prevent the off-chance of being jumped. I saw one guy with a flag in his bag turn it upside down so it wouldn’t poke out.
So yeah, fuck that heterosexual pride day nonsense.
This is the saddest god damn thing I’ve read in awhile, mostly because I literally remember peeling my stickers off on my way home too for this reason
Two years ago in Budapest the organizers didn’t let anyone leave the place until we dropped all the rainbow flags into the trash cans and popped out the balloons, because people were waiting outside the cordons to get and beat us. Sadly the situation was so bad that even without the flags, we couldn’t leave for a good two hours after the event anyway. There were hundreds of people just waiting to be able to get home safely, but we simply couldn’t walk out of the place because of those assholes. In the end, the police made us leave in smaller groups via subway. They closed down the stations closest to ours, so we could avoid running into the people waiting us outside. This was in Budapest, in Europe, 2014. I hate this world we live in.
And this is why #heterosexualpride makes me so angry.
I know this kid who was leaving Pride, trying so badly to rub off the rainbow paint on his cheek because his dad was abusive and didn’t know he was gay or at pride. I was on the bus with him and he was close to tears, he cheek red, and I had my make up bag and there was a packet of wet wipes, so I went up and sat next to him and helped him rub it off. We’ve been best friends ever since.
Heterosexual pride my ass
This is so fucking important. There are way too many human beings that are so ashamed of who they are because people just can’t accept diversity and it’s so sad. you can’t be fucking butt hurt when people celebrate minorities and people that have been suppressed, rather than groups that are wildly accepted and loved. Don’t try and take away from someone’s fucking happiness. Check. Your. Fucking. Privilege.
With Kate Mckinnon voicing Ms Frizzle, imagine how upset conservatives will get when they find out a lesbian is using magic to teach kids science. It’s like their worst nightmare.
And it’s even cooler because Ms Frizzle used to be voiced by Lily Tomlin, who is also a lesbian. So basically Ms Frizzle is a lesbian by association.
Of course she’s lesbian what straight woman owns a lizard and drives a bus
maybe straight people should be less concerned about why we didn’t tell them earlier and more concerned about what it is about them that made us feel unsafe enough not to come out before
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