Multiple gynos refused me an IUD because “oh, it hurts so much to put in when you’ve had kids! We don’t want to put you in pain!!”
I was at a 7-9 on the pain scale regularly for my periods, and the docs were determined to make me run the gauntlet.
“But what about the pill?”
“Symptom-swap.”
“Have you thought about depo?”
“Mood drop.”
“And the patch?”
“Family history of breaking out in rashes.”
“Well, what about the nuva ring?”
“How will that NOT give me the same symptom-swap issues?”
“…”
“Look, I’m in pain so bad I wake up in the middle of the night. I’m in pain so bad I didn’t know I had appendecitis. I need SOMETHING.”
“Have you tried an ibuprofen protocol?”
“YES.”
“There are yoga poses that help with cramping.”
“I can’t uncurl from the ball of pain I’m in. How the hell am I supposed to hold position?”
“Well, how much caffeine do you drink? That could be a factor.”
“I have three cups of coffee a day and drink lots of water.”
And so on.
Then, one day, I made an appointment and went to Planned Parenthood.
“Yeah. Hi. I have incredibly painful periods that are fucking crippling me, and I need an IUD.”
“Okay. Do you have a chart of your periods I can look at?”
“Yup.”
“Okay. Looks like you have regular, heavy periods where the pain is worsening. Is that right?”
“Yup. And the fatigue. And the mood swings. And all of it.”
“Fatigue and mood swings, too?”
“Yup.”
“…is there any history of endometriosis in your family?”
“Yup. I’ve never been diagnosed, though. They say it takes a biopsy.”
“The biopsy can confirm tissue, but if you don’t have excess tissue, it doesn’t really help. You can have endo without excess tissue.”
“Okay. So, what are my options?”
“I suggest Mirena. Paraguard can make period symptoms worse even though it’s got no hormones while Mirena has a low-dose hormone that should help with all your pain and other issues. Here’s all the info on both of them. Here are models of both of them. Why don’t you take everything with you, read through it, then call if you have any questions? We can go ahead and schedule for insertion before you leave, and you can just call and say which type you want after you’ve read up. Is that okay?”
“…Yeah. That’s. That’s fine.”
“Do you have any questions right now?”
“Um, I got told a bunch I shouldn’t get an IUD because the insertion will hurt too much because I haven’t had kids.”
“Looking at the pain you’re usually in, I think you can handle it. It will definitely hurt, but it should only last about twenty seconds.”
“Twenty seconds?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve been refused the best option for dealing with my symptoms because of TWENTY SECONDS?!”
“Sadly, we hear that a lot.”
Planned Parenthood treated me like a PERSON who was in pain, not a walking uterus bitching and moaning about womanly things. Planned Parenthood showed me respect and kindness and respected the knowledge I brought of my own medical history to the conversation. Planned Parenthood respected my autonomy where other doctors rarely had and paid attention when I explained why I felt the IUD was the best choice. Planned Parenthood showed me I mattered, and I want to show how much they matter to me.
^ the difference between a person’s symptoms being diminished versus believed.
Tag: ladythings
#SLAY
Hey so Danai Gurira is a playwright (and a fantastic one, she won a Tony) as well as an actor, so this isn’t just her observation as someone who’s been acting out storylines written by men and sees what’s wrong with them: she’s been WRITING HER OWN, MUCH BETTER narratives about women for years. Petition to hire Danai Gurira as lead scriptwriter for a Black Panther spinoff about the Dora Milaje who’s with me.
(For the record I’m not critiquing Ryan Coogler’s treatment of women he did a fantastic job.)
“The Grapes of Wrath was written because Steinbeck stole the notes of a hardworking Dust Bowl-era journalist named Sanora Babb, who was trying to write her own book. When she finally had a chance to pitch it, she found that the market was overpowered by a successful book—based entirely on her notes. When Steinbeck saw the things in person that he later wrote about, he couldn’t stand to look at it for more than a day. Babb spent much of her career working with and chronicling impoverished farmers. Her book wasn’t published until the year before she died. In 2004. She would be a household name if not for the theft.”
—
Fuck you, Steinbeck. (via theangelofbucephalon)
Steinbeck based his book on reports made by Sanora Babb (leaked to him by her boss, Tom Collins, to whom Grapes of Wrath is dedicated). Sanora Babb was planning to write her own book, but Steinbeck published before she did. Babb was told that the market could not bear another on the same subject. Her book, ‘Whose Names are Unknown’, was finally published in 2004. I haven’t read either book yet, but am now definitely going to be reading ‘Whose Names are Unknown’ soon.
Babb’s novel is described as showing how by re-creating rudimentary democratic practices the refugees restructure their lives as a unified community, resisting violent discrimination. In ‘Whose Names are Unknown’, we hear the whole powerful story from the point of view of a woman who had actual experience with both the origin and the destination of the migrants.Sanora Babb was a member of the US Communist Party in the 1930s and 40s, dropped out of the party due to the authoritarian structure and in-fighting.
(via jinerviet)
here are some sources, in case you were looking for them
(via corvus-cornix)
HOLY SHIT
(via cearbhal)
so that’s fitzgerald, and now steinbeck outed as thieves, who stole the intellectual property of women to write their “masterpieces”. i’m sure there are many more examples of male theft from women in the literary domain, probably as many thefts as in the sciences. men are pathetic, talentless pieces of shit.
(via angrysapphist)
Woman of Ideas and What Men Have Done to Them is a book written by Dale Spender on this very issue and other ways men remove women from recorded history.
Cause of polycystic ovary syndrome discovered at last
The most common cause of female infertility – polycystic ovary syndrome – may be caused by a hormonal imbalance before birth. The finding has led to a cure in mice, and a drug trial is set to begin in women later this year.
Polycystic ovary syndrome affects up to one in five women worldwide, three-quarters of whom struggle to fall pregnant. The condition is typically characterised by high levels of testosterone, ovarian cysts, irregular menstrual cycles, and problems regulating sugar, but the causes have long been a mystery. “It’s by far the most common hormonal condition affecting women of reproductive age but it hasn’t received a lot of attention,” says Robert Norman at the University of Adelaide in Australia.
I try not to get all “WOO!” when I see optimistic science articles, because I know that there’s a long, hard road between an article and a cure, but… God, I hope they’re making real strides on this. Because while the article leads with “three-quarters of whom struggle to fall pregnant” (because of course it does–the article is distressingly focused on increasing fertility), but the syndrome causes a lot of pain and fatigue and a variety of uncomfortable physical symptoms for the one in five women who have it, and “it hasn’t received a lot of attention” is the understatement of the century
(seriously, if there was a disease affecting one in five men that
involved chronic pain, it would have its own damn charity by now).So if you have PCOS, I know this is only the beginning of the start of the journey toward good news, but… it’s better news than a week ago.
Here are some comics I made for this post. It’s a bunch of stuff about vaginas I wish I had known before it happened to me!
“ouchvagimine”
This will always remain my favorite vintage lesbian art… Do I even have to break it down for you?
I just thought it was a mermaid trapped under ice
the caption says “Are Parisian women becoming more thrifty? Seeing a lot of different types of panties this year!”
presumably half those girls are commando or wearing thongs. this is totally lesbian pinup ads.
If it were just a mermaid trapped under ice, there would be no reason all the skaters above the ice are wearing skirts and are presumably women. also look at that mermaid’s smile she knows what’s up.
I feel the need to correct the French translation, primarily because I’m garbage, but also because the actual translation has a significantly different meaning than what is written above.
The French says, “La Parisienne deviendrait elle économe ? … On voit beaucoup moins de pantalons, cette année ?” “Are Parisian women becoming thrifty? Seeing much fewer pant(ie)s this year!”
I know I’ve reblogged this 5000x before but 1. Never with that corrected translation and 2. I don’t care
this is a great ad but how is she smoking under water?
Lesbian mermaid magic
The cigarette indicates it’s sexual too.
Although I agree that it being usable underwater is a baffling detail
I think the cigarette is to make damn sure you know it’s sexual.
Cigarettes were often used in movies and art to indicate that that woman is a lesbian!
Also see how she has 2 fins not one? It symbolises trousers instead of a skirt, another way to hint at the woman being a lesbian in artwork at the time.
I’m just incredibly relived for the corrected translation, the nonsensical-ness of ‘thrifty = more pants’ has troubled me for a while now.
GUYS.
Although it is made to look like a cigarette–look at the box next to her. It’s a sardine box. She is holding her last sardine like a cigarette. So it actually makes more sense than a cigarette under water….
(Obviously the sexy cigarette imagery is still there, it’s just a clever way to work around the water bit)
this post is just the gift that keeps on giving.
I can’t even imagine being SO STRAIGHT that I’d think this was “just a mermaid trapped under ice” smh
I’m obsessed with this painting, I have it hanging in my house, and I never realized it was a sardine she had in her fingers before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m SHIVERED
A male colleague was making fun of the #metoo movement a few days ago, and many more (I’m one of 5 women in a department of 200 men) joined in. So I raised my voice and said I was glad women were speaking up about sexual harassment and assault and that I hoped that everyone who perpetuated this toxic behavior got taken down.
“Yeah but it’s a trend now, lots of them are just saying it for their 15 minutes of fame.” He then continued to say that he didn’t know anyone who had been harassed or any man who had done it.
I asked him if he had a daughter. He did. I asked him how old she was. She was was 17. I told him I’d bet my rent money that his daughter had experienced sexual harassment.
“That’s impossible.”
“Did you ask her?”
“No.”
“Well then, do it.”
The next day, he came in the office with five bouquets of flowers for all the women in our department, including me. He publicly apologized for making fun of sexual harassment and for making our lives harder by doing so. He said that he simply hadn’t known how widespread it was. Apparently, his daughter deals with it very regularly. She hadn’t told him because of the way he spoke about assault cases that were on the news. She thought he’d think less of her if she’d mention it. It was her idea that he should make a public announcement. He said he felt like a bad father.
I said: “You were. Same goes for everyone who laughed with you. Be better, now you know better. And educate other men that still think the same way you did yesterday. And next time someone tells you about an experience they have, don’t automatically assume that because you haven’t seen it, it’s not true. That kind of willful ignorance is why we still deal with this shit.”
He also offered to pay my rent as that was part of the bet, but I told him I’d rather have him put effort in being a person his daughter and wife could be proud of.
In conversation the other day my mom stopped and asked my dad about what percentage of women he thought had experienced sexual harassment. He said about 20-30% maybe. My mom told him that both of us had been harassed multiple times at work (same goes for both of her sisters) and that she had actually been assaulted by a groper on a public bus. I have never seen anyone’s face go slack so quickly before as he realized that literally every woman in his family had experienced this. And while I’m glad he believed us and has changed his view on that subject I still can’t shake the frustration, the anger, that it required being sat down and spoonfed these incidents that we didn’t particularly wanted to relive. This is something that women have been saying for years, but men just never listen. Not even when they’re forced to sit in mandatory harassment in the workplace training seminars.
this post needs more attention
I am incoherent with rage and frustration and deep sadness, because I would bet money that my dad doesn’t know all the shit his daughters have been through. And the thought that thousands, millions of men also think this…? I just want to burn it all down.
Why does being a woman put you at greater risk of having anxiety?
Part biology, part what we teach our kids about their place in the world.So we’re teaching girls to be anxious wrecks and boys to disregard the possibility of consequences for incautious behavior.
This explains a lot of things. Like… why women are anxious wrecks and men are frequently surprised when it turns out their actions do in fact have consequences.
And why men don’t bother asking for help even when they really need it, and thus more frequently die from treatable health conditions (including depression), while women end up getting a broad stereotype of being hypochondriacs (and then having a hard time getting treatment for legitimate health concerns).
https://www.ted.com/talks/caroline_paul_to_raise_brave_girls_encourage_adventure/transcript
Great example of how feminism serves not just women but people of all genders, including men.
fucking christ I am sobbing
“If the men find out we can shapeshift, they’re going to tell the church!“
i didnt learn anything about contouring but that’s okay
Her fuckin Katherine Hepburn Done With Everything accent is killing me
-PTERODACTYL SCREECH-
(Source: https://www.youtube.com/)
Please reblog this even if you don’t care
They’re trying to erase the existence of the rape victims of Japanese soldiers in World War II because they think the reminder of their crimes might make Japan a little bit cross
Duterte, the absolute coward, is more worried about women criticizing him than actually honoring the women this country needs to remember
Please don’t let these women be silenced.
Full Article here
myblog 