i had a moment today while watching a whiny shitlord complain about the injustice of new sci-fi media having more female leads, i suddenly felt the strangest sense of déjà vu. i couldn’t pintpoint it at first but then out of nowhere, it fucking dawned on me
This is the single greatest meme in the history of the Internet everyone can stop making memes now we don’t need any more ever again
I think I’ve already reblogged this but I don’t care it’s just pure gospel
i bet harry potter kept that tiny hungarian horntail from the first triwizard tournament on his bedside table forever
years later lily luna is like “daddy, what is that dragon toy?”
“well, child, it’s a brutal reminder of the time i was forced into the wizard hunger games because dumbledore can’t tell when there’s a death eater working at hogwarts”
how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”
I think the biggest problem with Harry Potter and the Cursed Child is that it throws away every degree of character development that was established in the original series and writes it off as meaningless. Literally one difference changes their entire personality, beliefs, background, etc.
Cedric Diggory becoming a death eater due to humiliation sort of goes against everything we know of him as a character. He’s literally the embodiment of a Hufflepuff. Cedric never displayed any half-blood/muggle-born bigotry, he seemed to be liked by all. But I’m expected to believe he turned into a genocidal racist because he got humiliated in front of the school? He was no longer kind and accepting? His whole character before this humiliation meant nothing? This is all it took?
Hermione becomes a bitter professor who seems to enjoy harassing her students because she didn’t end up with Ron? In this timeline, practically everything is the same except her and Ron’s relationship. I’m supposed to believe that this brave, intelligent girl who wanted to be the best and brightest grew up to be like this? Her heroic actions during her preteens/teens meant nothing? Her personal goals meant nothing? Her hunger for activism and equal rights? And she turns into a cruel professor that inflicts the same pain that Snape did to her and other students. Her tears when Snape humiliates her didn’t shape her into being an inspiring professor, at least? She saw the value in students having a teacher like Remus Lupin and that didn’t carry over either?
Then Ron turned out boring and wasn’t funny-Ron without Hermione? Ron was always sarcastic and funny, long before Hermione. So why did this change? A part of Ron’s development in the series is becoming more mature. He stepped up to the plate when he needed to and even after all they went through, he still had his humor and his personality. Ron remained Ron even, after he was tormented by the horcrux and after he lost friends and family. This is who he is. Yes, I think Hermione brought out the best in Ron but with or without her, he still had his personality.
The complexity of these characters sort of gets tossed out the window when all it took was one small thing to change them entirely, to change established development in their character before their reality altered.
Okay wait a second. Werewolves are talked about in Harry Potter and the Cursed Child like they’re all bad and supporters of the dark arts. They go into hiding even more that they previously did in this story. They “have gone entirely underground.” So you’re telling me that literally nothing has evolved in terms of werewolf rights? Hermione Granger is the Minister for Magic and they’re still living as they were 20 years before.
Dolores Umbridge was a piece of shit for drafting anti-werewolf legislation and her discrimination against them was presented in a negative light. Not to mention that this shunning by the wizarding community made it nearly impossible for them to work and as a result, they lived in poverty. Like, the stereotype was that they couldn’t even be trusted in human form. Which we obviously knew wasn’t true and they were just as capable of being good or bad. But Hermione puts them entirely in the category of creatures who fought with Voldemort. Literally calling them “beasts,” and “allies of the darkness.”
Remus Lupin was a victim of this prejudice. He only got by financially thanks to James Potter. He could hardly find work and lost his job at Hogwarts because he knew parents would be outraged a werewolf was around their children. His fear of being a husband and father stem from the bigoted views in the wizarding community. And you’re telling me that it’s just about the same?
are you a gryffindor, ravenclaw, hufflepuff or slytherin person? an animagus or metamorphmagus person? a cat, toad or owl person? an elder wand, resurrection stone or cloak of invisibility person? a quidditch player or commentator?
concept: instead of hedwig, Harry goes into the pet store and this little snake in the back of the store talks to him, obviously gets his attention more than the other animals, and harry feels sorry for it so he takes it home. Then the snake helps Harry throughout his years at hogwarts as harry carries it wrapped around his hand all like “pssssst, haaarryyy, the dark lord isss coming sss” or just petty shit like “haaaarrryy, now is the time, assskkk out cho chaaannngg”
The snake getting really agitated in second year and Harry like ‘Aw, what’s wrong little friend?’
And snake’s like ‘Nah don’t worry it’s cool, it’s just that big fuck-off snake in the pipes that keeps making you think you’re hearing things—it’s like, ten thousand foot long, and I’m a corn snake, so you know. Bit intimidating.’
Third year he eats Scabbers and saves them all a lot of time
Every listicle about which Star Wars characters go in which Hogwarts houses is bullshit. They always make Leia a Ravenclaw or a Gryffindor. Leia is a Slytherin. She was raised a princess but even that wasn’t enough for her, she was like “I’m gonna overthrow the government, bitches.”
And Han Solo is not a bad-ass Slytherin, he is a Hufflepuff, because every five minutes he is dropping his own agenda to help his friends not die doing whatever crazy shit they’re about to do.
The biggest Gryffindor in the whole trilogy is R2D2, because every beep of his can basically be translated as “Hold my beer and watch this,” usually followed by him getting zapped by something and falling over.
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