People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?
Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.
i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone
Right but have you met a squirrel?
Those are the ones who eat all the birdseed out of the feeder before the blue jays and chickadees can get there
“What’s with all the fucking gaijin in this area?” “Dude, don’t say that, use gaikokujin, it’s nicer.” “Oh, shit, right. What’s with all the fucking gaikokujin in this area?”
“The breaded pork cutlet bento box is like mega power. More than ramen. That’s accurate.”
all of them start dragging kiryu for his shitty cheap shirt for five minutes
“Shooting people sends a message.” “So does shooting anything.”
(after being told that massage parlors, mahjong, and hostess clubs were cut from the US version) “I feel sorry for the people who bought the American version. SEGA USA sucks.”
S: I don’t know any ex-yakuza running orphanages. K: There was one a few years ago. A good guy. M: You sure it wasn’t just a tax shelter? K: Sure it was a tax shelter but he ran it like a legitimate thing. You know.
i love that one old timey 1910s trans dude who has a tiny wikipedia page for himself that he earned entirely due to him starting fights in bars and being the city’s hottest casanova
Like this glorious jerk got arrested so many times that was literally ALL THEY HAD TO WRITE IN THE PAPER
He was a vagrant street kid and Seattle girls were all over this guy, to the point where it caused a moral panic. There’s a famous anecdote about a women proclaiming her love in Denny Park and then trying to shoot herself, but most of these reports were falsely worded in a way that suggest his female admirers were “upset about being deceived” when really they were upset that he was wooing other women, or trying to get his attention by being as extra as possible.
What you also should know is that back in the day “seduction” was a literal crime that could put you in prison (unless you married the woman you seduced) but since he wasn’t cis they couldn’t really CHARGE HIM with anything. Legend.
I especially like “Seattle Woman Appears in Men’s Clothes Because She Says Her Features Make it Possible.” I can’t imagine anything but someone going “Hey! You can’t dress like that!” and him responding “Oh yes I can. You see, I look very good.”
a d&d group who have only ever played virtually are forced to meet up and join forces when it seems their dm has gone missing. the group is comprised of beautiful popular athlete pretending to be a dork online, a dork pretending to be a beautiful popular athlete online, a stereotypical lives-in-his-mother’s-basement gamer who’s secretly rich, and the dm’s brother who doesn’t know the dm is his sister – they’ve never even exchanged real names online. halfway through their search they realize the dm sent them on a wild goose chase on purpose to give them the thrill of a real-life adventure. three quarters of the way through they realize that through the actions the dm set up for them to take, they’re actually being framed for a crime she committed.
Unrealistic premise, it requires players to actually follow the DM’s beautifully crafted plan for more than five minutes, zero stars
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