contemporary roman writers slutshamed julius caesar that’s your ides of march fact for today
what an absolute unit ol’ iulius was
how could you write this and not say WHY he was getting slutshamed
julius ‘husband to all wives and wife to all husbands’ caesar was a thirsty, thirsty bottom
suetonius: i heard that caesar was a big slut and also he liked buttsex and oral
cicero, to the gathered senate: CAESAR TAKES IT UP THE ASS
for historical context, cicero publicly called out jc for bottoming for king nicomedes of bithynia. they first met when caesar was 20, the king was at least twice his age. i am not saying sugar daddy but sugar daddy. the sex was so good that when nicomedes died he left his entire kingdom to rome, i am not making this up this is t r u e
sometimes I get so jealous of other people’s social skills. like damn. they can talk to people?? and people like them?? look at all those people who like them. wtf. illegal
people talk about how extra anakin and luke are but no one ever mentions how leia:
was scheduled for execution when luke and han freed her from her cell and still gave them a shit about it
proclaimed her love to a smuggler in front of half the empire before he was frozen in carbonite
blinks whenever she shoots; still manages to kill troopers
impulsively pursued a trooper on endor, tried to get him to fall from his bike, fell from her bike herself, then waited until said trooper hit a tree so she could faint
rescued her lover from jabba and when he couldn’t see her, instead of saying her name, said ‘someone who loves you’
told a guy he had an awful smell while suggesting vader is the emperor’s dog, all within one sentence
was virtually proclaimed the ewok princess while wearing a brand new dress while her friends were going to be the ewoks’ dinner
kissed her own brother in order to make the guy she likes jealous
insulted the millennium falcon and her pilot right before they were supposed to save her (on more than one occasion)
ignored han as he tried to save her from echo base by bossing people around when they were all supposed to evacuate
willingly almost let chewie choke lando
yelled ‘IT’S A TRAP!’ dramatically first
called han a stuck up half-witted scruffy looking nerf-herder; made out with him 3 days later
legit made out with han in front of darth fucking vader
and if you read the bloodline novel she shows up at a party wearing a black dress and cape after everybody in the galaxy finds out darth vader was her real father, showing levels of extra that would make both anakin and padme proud
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