who was the fool who was tasked with naming the galaxy and the only adjective they could think of was ‘mmmmmmmmmmmmilky…’
scientist: (gazing up at space) scientist: ……….. it sure is a milky boy
NO
YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
ASTRONOMERS ARE THE SHITTIEST EVER AT NAMING THINGS I KID YOU NOT.
When it came time to name the two theoretical particle types that might be dark matter THEY INTENTIONALLY CHOSE THE NAMES SO THAT THE ACRONYMS WOULD SPELL “WIMPS” AND “MACHOS” I SHIT YOU NOT
THEY ARE FUCKING TERRIBLE AT NAMING ANYTHING
I just listened to a talk by Neil deGrasse Tyson himself LAST NIGHT and he went on about this more than once.
“I’m walking down the street and I’m like ‘ooh pretty rock…’ and some Geologist is like ‘actually, that’s anorthosite feldspar’ and I’m like ‘Nevermind, I don’t want it anymore.’ Any biologists in the audience? [some clapping] Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. The most important molecule in the human body, what did you name it? It has NINE SYLLABLES and it’s so long that even YOU GUYS abbreviate it as ‘DNA’!
But astrophysicists and astronomers? No, man, we call it like we see it. Star made of neutrons? NEUTRON STAR. Small white star? WHITE DWARF. You know that big red spot on Jupiter? Know what we called it? JUPITER’S RED SPOT.”
okay i’m glad you mentioned the biologist nonsense bc their naming methods are the bane of my existence
I see your astrophysicists-are-shit-at-names and raise you Marine-Biologists-Are-Fucking-Maniacs.
See this beautiful creature?
It’s a carnivorous deep-sea sponge that lives off of Easter Island and never sees the light of day, as it’s about 9000 feet down. Those delicate-looking orbs are covered in millions of tiny hooked spines, which latch onto anything unfortunate enough to bump into it, and hold it in place as it is digested alive by the sponge’s skin. Amazing, beautiful and profoundly creepy. They could have given it so many cool names. Could have drawn on mythology (I think Scylla would have been an appropriate reference), the region it was found in, the textured skin, PHAGOCYTOSIS, anything!
You wanna know what they called it?
PING-PONG TREE SPONGE.
Good job, marine biologists.
Nothing will ever beat the scientific name of the Western lowland gorilla, Gorilla gorilla gorilla.
Thor took groot as an elective which means growing up he was the rare combination of nerd and jock and idk why people are surprised i mean the boy talks astrophysics wirh bruce 7 phd’s banner like its nothing and when he drops down to earth which clique does he immediately join? Not shield!! Not the avengers!! Some podunk star scientists out in the middle of nowhere on an extended camping trip like!! Whilst loki was painting his nails to match his cufflinks, thor was studying foreign languages as he benchpressed heimdall. Thor isnt your garden variety jock he’s a bookworm jock, easily found stargazing or doodling in his moleskin journal
Loki: Why you would want to talk to sentient trees? Thor: Why wouldn’t you? They are sentient trees!!
Wait…wait a minute, wait a minute, I just realized something!!!
What if she did know?
Think about it, Helen goes in to talk to Edna but Edna has already prepared a series of supersuits that are perfectly designed for every situation she and the kids are going to be in. And for some reason, we’ve all just accepted that, yeah, she’s Edna Mode, she would know these things, she’s just like that.
But what if we’ve all been missing something right in front of us?
We know Edna has affiliations with the government agency and has obviously been making suits for decades. Do you think the government is just going to get a random fashion designer to make these suits? Absolutely not.
They’re going to get a Super.
What if Edna is a Super with the power of future-vision?
That’s how she knows exactly what suit to make, that’s how she knows that the kids are going to be in danger, that’s how she’s so aware of everything going on around her and catches everyone off guard.
She never looks back; she looks forward.
(Sorry for hijacking your post, OP.)
which is why the whole cape thing hit so hard. she didnt see it coming
I love the idea of a Super whose power is to amazingly see into the future and she just uses it for fashion design.
like, heimdall saw that shit right? odin comes back through the bifrost and heimdall is just “…………….”
heimdall: that’s a baby
odin: yes! he’s my son! ………..loki. i’m going to dress him in green and black, because that worked great last time
or odin comes back and is trying to figure out, how to play it, and heimdall and frigga are just waiting for him and completely deadpan
frigga: ah, husband! you have returned from war in time to meet your newborn son. who i had. after being pregnant. secretly.
odin: what
frigga:
heimdall:
loki: *baby noises*
odin: right
honestly, i just need heimdall going up to frigga like “you won’t believe what your husband just did”
odin: he’s a replacement for the child I had to lock away in the shadow realm.
heimdall:
odin: I’ll do better by this one. I know I will.
heimdall:
heimdall: You mean Frigga will.
Odin: Please can we keep it? It’s cute and changes colours and smiles at my empty eye socket. I promise I’ll take care of it I’ll feed it every week and I’ll dress it in green and black and I’ll teach it to throw knives and it will be great!
Heimdall: Frigga, he stole a baby. Say something.
THIS IS THE BEST THING
I like to imagine Frigga visiting Heimdall and they have tea and gossip about how much a mess Odin is.
Hiemdall: *plopping into Friggas parlour and already reaching for the cup Frigga is passing him* Lemme tell you what wild shit your sons are doing in Alfhiem
Hiemdall rollerblading into the throne room this week with sunglasses and a piña coloda: Your Majesty, you’re not going to fucking believe this stuff your son brought back from Midgard.
Frigga, iceskating down the bifrost with three bottles of tequila wearing a mini cape from a midgardian children’s dracula costume: Heimdall, my good bitch, I have news.
You, a fool: Thor and Loki’s parents, Odin and Frigga
Me, an intellectual: Frigga and Heimdall raised those boys to be better than this my good bitch
1. hates donald trump
2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not
3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN
4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars
5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him
6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions
7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved
8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed”
9. arguably sexy
10. points angrily and its super effective
11. is just a really sweet person 12. no really my dad worked with him on firewall as the tech advisor and he was just a really swell guy 13. got my mom’s birth date from my dad and sent her flowers 14. he sent my mom flowers for her birthday 15. he didn’t even know her he just wanted to be sweet
this was a beautiful and necessary edition to this post thank you oh my god
When he was asked to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, in which he pulled up alongside them in a car and gave Jimmy a little wink and an air-kiss, when he showed up at the set he looked kind of put out. Kimmel was afraid he wasn’t down with what they were asking. But he just said, “I don’t know, this wardrobe…don’t you have anything mesh that I could wear?”
When he was filming “Witness” he rented a small farm from a friend of mine. At the end of the filming my friend went and checked out the property as usual. He noticed the barn door had been leveled so it no longer would swing open on it’s own. Went into the house and saw the closets had been redone, in the kitchen the cabinets had been replaced and all the drawers now opened really well. Turns out that there were thousands of dollars of work and materials put into fixing up everything at the place.
My friend called Ford and asked him how much he was asking for the work. Ford told him doing that kind of thing helped him relax and stay sane when he was filming. Would not take a dime. Plus he paid for a new water heater and got the sewage system cleaned out.
And he paid rent to live there the entire time.
Local Carpenter Stumbles Into Stardom, Worries This May Interfere With His Carpentry
My step sister was driving through Wyoming once, near Ford’s ranch. She stops for gas, and as she’s filling up, this huge motorcycle roars in behind her, scared the pants off her. The rider, dressed in all black steps off, and she yells at him “who do you think you are blasting in here like that, you Darth Vader looking motherfucker?”. He takes off the helmet, and it’s Harrison Ford, and without missing a beat he says
“Hey! I’m not Darth Vader, I’m Luke Skywalker”
From the co-production designer on The Force Awakens, Darren Gilford:
“The Millennium Falcon was the first thing we were actually building. I had been in London and I came home back to L.A. for Christmas. So I go to Sports Chalet to do some last-minute shopping; I get there early, run to the back of the store, get what I need. I’m coming back through the store, and I just happen to pass this person holding up a pair of ski pants, and it’s Harrison Ford. I look at him, he looks at me and puts his head right down. I can tell he doesn’t want to be bothered; I’m sure from the look on my face he knew I knew who he was.
So I walk past him, and after about 10 feet I think, ‘If there’s ever a time to say hello to Harrison Ford, I’m building the Millennium Falcon!’ So I turn around very hesitantly and go, ‘Harrison, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m co-production designer on the new Star Wars, I’m just back from London, and I’ve been building the Falcon.’ A big smile came across his face, he put his hand out, and we had such a great conversation — he couldn’t have been sweeter.
As I’m walking away, he goes, ‘Darren!’ and calls me back. He goes, ‘The toggle switches.’ I go, ‘Toggle switches.’ He goes, ‘The toggle switches on the Falcon. When they built it the first time, they bought cheap toggle switches without any springs in them. Every time I threw a toggle switch, it fell back; it wouldn’t hold. It drove me crazy. Please, make sure the toggle switches are fixed this time.’ I go, ‘No problem! I’ll take care of it!’
So months go by, I’m back in London, we’re getting close [to principal photography], and I get a phone call saying J.J.’s headed down to check out the cockpit, and Harrison’s with him. I run down there and I see J.J. in the passenger seat and Harrison in the pilot seat. They’re just giddy; they’re having so much fun. And then I see Harrison look up, and he just starts throwing all the toggle switches: boom, boom, boom, boom. [Laughs.] And I remember thinking, ‘Phew, minor victory. Take solace in that and move on. Next task.’ That’s my favorite story.”
HARRISON FORD SMILES WHEN MEETING CREW MEMBERS AND IS A NERD FOR FUNCTIONING PRODUCTION DESIGN
Don’t forget about his Halloween costumes
Harrison ford is a chaotic-good-aligned cryptid, confirmed
bruce wayne maintains a presence on all conspiracy theory boards with the screen name BruceWayneIsTheBatman and all his posts have titles like “BRUCE WAINE IS BAT-MAN INDISPUTABLE PROOF” and it’s just a picture of Bruce Wayne from the back next to a picture of Batman from behind and they both have the contours of their butt drawn on in a shitty MSPaint red line (note: Bruce is in a suit and Batman has a cape, neither of their butts are clearly discernible) and the quote “THE BUTTS MATCH!!! THE FACTS DON’T LIE!!!!!” and he makes at least three of these posts a day, and “Bruce Wayne is the Batman” becomes a meme a la “Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer” and he gets asked about it on a talk show and he laughs uproariously at the idea and Stephen Colbert just HAPPENS to have a batman mask under the desk and they do a bit together where Bruce Wayne puts on the mask and walks around saying things like “excuse me, bank robbers, can I perhaps offer you some money to stop you robbing this bank?” and “I say, cease and desist your criminal behavior or I’ll have my butler ask you to leave” and the audience is LOSING THEIR MINDS laughing at the idea of this pampered rich guy taking on the Joker on a bi-weekly basis and then anyone who suggests “Bruce Wayne is Batman” in earnest gets met with mocking “oh man do the butts match” comments
Me: *falling asleep to an audiobook on the science of the gut*
Book: saliva is actually filtered blood!
Me: ʕʘ‿ʘʔ
Me: ʕʘ‿ʘʔ
Book: saliva also contains a painkiller that is stronger than morphine, but we don’t produce a lot of it otherwise we’d be constantly high
Me: ʕʘ Д ʘʔ
Opiorphin is 6x stronger than morphine and actually contains an anti-depressant compound which is why some doctors believe it’s linked to comfort eating
The banter between Barnes and Barton in Tales of Suspense is fucking flawless.
A limited run is not enough!!!
I can’t fucking get enough of these two.
OH MY GOD
WHAT
WHO
HOW
I WAS NOT INFORMED?!???!?
One of my favorites! It makes me happy to see this sampled and shared, may it be savored and loved by all who come upon it.
I really tried hard to post enough to give people a taste without spoiling the actual story. I can hardly wait for the conclusion!!!! The suspense is killing me.
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