It baffles and infuriates me that Hogwarts students don’t take Latin or Greek. Accio? Literally “I summon.” Lumos? Fucking “light.” Expelliarmus? Expel weapon!! Ooooh I wonder what Levicorpus does– you Dumb Ass Bastard. You ILLITERATE. It’s called Levicorpus, it lifts someone’s body, it LEVIES your goddamn CORPUS-
squirrel girl is canonically more powerful than thanos
if anyone is wondering “how the fuck?”: this was a pretty complicated thing that marvel set up, where they evaluated each hero and villain’s capabilities based on who they defeated, how they defeated them, who they were defeated by, and so on.
except, as it turns out, squirrel girl has defeated a LOT of powerful villains. case in point, her very first appearance has her solo-defeating doctor doom, without the help of iron man (who was nearby). this was also one of the few occasions where doom was defeated and it WASN’T a doombot. this turned squirrel girl into kind of a meme once the story hit the internet for obvious reasons, even though this story was just a one-shot. so then marvel brings her back, and has her defeat three villains in one comic, INCLUDING THANOS. (they even had other characters confirm that it wasn’t a trick, it wasn’t a fake thanos, that was actually thanos and he lost to squirrel girl because she set squirrels on him.)
the result? squirrel girl always wins. if there is an argument about “who would win?”, and squirrel girl is one of the options, then she wins by default because she’s squirrel girl. and this means that squirrel girl has to be the most powerful character in marvel by raw stats, because she always wins. you genuinely can’t beat squirrel girl.
by the by: she’s coming to the mcu soon in the new warriors tv show. that should be entertaining.
The zombie outbreak started 2 years ago now you find yourself cornered by a decaying zombie when you do the unthinkable and bite it first when it falls to the floor and grows its skin back and sits up and asks what is going on
This may be the best subversive idea for zombie apocalypse stories i think I’ve ever seen.
“How the fuck did you know that would work?”
“I didn’t, dude, I just fucking panicked.”
“Bitch, you’re going to eat me? Me?! I’ve crossed three states in two months, mostly on foot, and you’re going to eat me? Not if I eat you first, bitch!”
~Later, accepting yet another award for finding the cure~
“Honestly, I’d like to thank spite which has carried me through much more than these past two years. Pure, unadulterated spite and adrenaline fueled rage. Thank you.”
Inexplicably annoyed by men writing about knitting!
???????
The tags on this are extraordinary:
girlfriend: *does a completely harmless craft that she enjoys, creating something while she watches tv*
boyfriend: “what is this anti-feminist spinster shit, i’m so alienated”
this is literally why I feel like I have to apologize for sewing
“sweetly oblivious old ladies” Hon I 100% guarantee to you that those old ladies are aware of you, your bloodline, your daily habits and your breakfast order and gossip about how rude you are as soon as you leave.
“If you want to eavesdrop on someone, knit or sew or some sort of womanly craft. Men will act as though you are deaf and blind even when shown evidence otherwise.” – Tricksters’ Choice.
I sourced this one a while back and I was really glad I did. It’s from the book Knitting Yarns: Writers on Knitting, an anthology in which “twenty-seven writers tell stories about how knitting healed, challenged, or helped them to grow.” The passage in question, from a story by Andre Dubus III, describes the writer’s state of mind after going through some problems with his family and having a fight with his girlfriend. Part of his difficulty is that their class disparity has recently come to the fore (his family is working-class, she was born into wealth; the “busywork” line seems a little more pointed), but mostly it’s that he feels disconnected from his roots and craves the easy connection to the past that his girlfriend’s art represents. Look at the way that even this out-of-context passage is written: his apparent contempt barely disguises his envy of her ease and skill, “her fingers working the needles and yarn without having to peek.” The entire arc is about how, finding himself compelled by her craft despite himself, he asks her to teach him to knit so that he can make a Christmas present for his aunt, and, in the process, comes to realize that there is more to knitting than the shallow ideas he read into it before he really understood it.
It’s sad that a man who wrote honestly about the impact that a “womanly art” had on his life got skewered (no pun intended) on the Internet because of this contextually necessary lead-up passage in which he outlines the negative stereotypes that stood in his way and pokes fun at his own immaturity.
This post is starting to go around without the context, and, while what they are saying is generally good, it’s important to know that the author’s intent was to provide the context of the ridiculous stigma he overcame.
the juggalos hate trump, guy fieri is an lgbt ally, & smash mouth is pro-cunnilingus: the entities are growing stronger & soon, with the powers of faygo, ranch, & ska, they will merge to their final form, the One who shall destroy fascism in america as prophesied by the Gods
myblog 