I sincerely apologize for spamming you all with the Hamilton fanfic controversy, but it’s really giving me so much strength. It’s been a while since we’ve had the kind of scandal that only Tumblr can provide (like the person who robbed graves; the person who mailed their toe to another person so they could make a necklace of it; etc). This scandal is just so fucking good, you know? White American college girl pretends to be a nonbinary Chinese-Pakistani Muslim human-trafficking survivor AND their American WOC wife and they live in India??? And they suffered a miscarriage? And they both have HIV? All so she can scam people out of money and amass kudos on Archive of Our Own for her Hamilton HIV fanfic? And she does this for YEARS? And the person who uncovered it is doing it for revenge because the fake-HIV-fanfic writer made them delete a fanfic about Lin-Manuel Miranda and Thomas Jefferson as cannibal mermaids performing oral sex and unironically accused them of gentrifying cannibalism??? I mean, this shit is fucking gold.
steve rogers: All my money is in a savings account. Tony has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don’t understand it.
tony stark: I was once on the phone with blockbuster video, which is a very old-fashioned sentence. That’s like when Steve would be like, “We’d all go play jacks by the soda fountain,” and you’re like, “Nobody knows what you’re talking about , you idiot.”
clint barton: It’s fun to be married. I’ve never been supervised before. I’m supervised! My wife studies what I do, like an anthropologist. She’ll be like: “Sometimes, he will watch a movie on TV even though he already owns that movie on DVD. Pointing this out confuses and upsets him.”
bruce banner: In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.
natasha romanoff: I’ll keep my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die.
thor: Ah…numbers. The letters of math.
sam wilson: Sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.
bucky barnes: Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the ‘30s: As long as you weren’t there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it.
scott lang: it’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them.
peter parker: I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress I am under.
t’challa: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
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