pro tip: before getting serious w a man, just casually mention ur period. like, just say ‘my cramps are bad rn’ or ‘I have to go buy some pads’. his reaction is very telling of how mature and understanding he is. you don’t wanna be dating a grown ass man who gets grossed out by the word menstruation. u deserve someone who is comfortable w u and I do mean all of u. you’ll be thanking urself for doing it now and not later hun!
THIS IS REALLY INDICATIVE OF HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS. TRUST ME.
True story. Once, I dated a guy once that wouldn’t let me pay for my own pads him he has with me. He wouldn’t go out and buy them himself if I needed them though. I had to stand next to him, which defeated the whole reason for him going to buy me any. Was uncomfortable with period talk and letting me pay for things myself.
Once, I also dated a guy that wouldn’t even stand in the pads alley with him. It grossed him out. Everything about my period grossed him out and he didn’t want to touch me. Just left me alone and didn’t want to deal with any of it. Wouldn’t even stand next to me when I bought pads.
Now, the guy I’m with and going to marry, he is a whole different story. I was dying of cramps and got my period while finishing up a class. (My campus can get very bad to the point where I’m shaking in pain or unable to move) Mistakenly didn’t bring pads and texted I needed him to do me the biggest favor. Not only did he buy me pads (something he does from time to time when I need them) but he marched through campus with them not bothering to hide it and brought me Advil.
Last week, I was dying in pain and lost my hot pack when I went to visit my mother. I asked him to buy me a new one and he forgot. So, I’m in massive pain near tears and it’s past ten at night wishing I hadn’t been so stupid as to lose it. He gets dressed and goes out to get me a hot pack even when I tell him over and over that I can wait until morning and I don’t want him to go not because he needs to go to bed.
He flat out says “I love you. You asked me to get you a hot pack and I forgot. Now, you are in a lot of pain and I can’t stand to see that. So, I’m getting you the hot pack and I’ll be back soon.” Comes back with the hot pack, ice cream and a candy bar.
Not saying all men need to be this level of nice. But I am saying that bring up your period in a casual manner is a great way to see how people will treat you when you are sick, not feeling well, or just basically how they handled things.
ACTUALLY THEY DO NEED TO BE THAT LEVEL OF NICE THOUGH
You are absolutely correct, and I was a fool not to realize it sooner.
My grampa was like this. I still remember sitting in the bathroom throwing up, because hella period nausea, and him holding my hair out of my face and like … not exactly rubbing my back. Sort of patting it. Like he was trying to be comforting but wasn’t quite sure how, because a 17-year-old girl throwing up and crying and telling him this was normal was outside his wheelhouse, which, given that he was in his 70s at the time and married my grandma when she was already in menopause, is understandable. Anyway, he went and called his niece for advice. She told him to give me plain herbal tea for pain (since Advil wasn’t staying down) and put me to bed, and he did and asked if I needed anything from the store, and went out and bought me pads and extra herbal tea, and called my school and told them I was sick and he was keeping me home.
If a man born in 1929 can pull it off, boys, so can you.
ok so, for people who have seen the LOTR films but not read the book I’d like to share some things that are 100% canon:
– Sam Gamgee uses the word ‘boner’. In a song. Several times.
– he also writes a poem that contains the phrase ‘golden showers’. (this is actually in the extended cut but they changed it to ‘silver showers’)
– at one point after he’s defeated Saruman steals Merry’s weed & runs away
– Denethor has actual mindreading powers
– so does Faramir (but he’s a nice person so they manifest more as heightened empathy)
– Gandalf ALSO has mindreading powers but for entirely different reasons. he reads Frodo’s mind while he’s sleeping at one point, casually reveals this to Frodo, and Frodo’s just like ‘huh neat’
– rather than bravely drawing the orcs away from Frodo like in the film, in the book Merry and Pippin just kind of, panic, bolt into the woods, and run directly into the orcs’ arms.
– Merry then draws his sword and hacks a bunch of orc hands off
– Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli name themselves ‘the three hunters’ before setting off to rescue Merry and Pippin because they are dorks
– they also improvise a whole song about how much they loved Boromir
– Aragorn does not initially tell the hobbits he’s a friend of Gandalf bcos he wanted them to like him for who he is. im not kidding. he openly admits to this.
– i feel like this is fairly well known but, if you didn’t know Frodo is 50 years old and looks 33
– hobbits PROBABLY age different to humans so looking 33 in practice means he looks about 21
– in accordance with the above Pippin is the equivalent of a 16-17 year old human
– Pippin can pass for a human child and looks like ‘a boy of nine summers’
– this isn’t that weird i just think it’s really cute: Pippin has 3 older sisters and their names are Pearl, Pimpernel and Pervinca.
– Sam & Rosie have 13 children. One of them is called Goldilocks.
– Frodo has another best friend. His name is Fatty. He stayed behind in the Shire to cover for Frodo’s absence and ends up getting jailed for months by Saruman’s forces.
– Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, who steals spoons, is also jailed by Saruman. (She whacked one of his goons with an umbrella.)
– Grima Wormtongue MAY have eaten an entire hobbit
– Saruman invades the Shire and turns it into a communist hell police state.
– the whole Tom Bombadil thing is common knowledge but if you haven’t read the book i guarantee you he is weirder than you think.
– to give just 2 examples: 1) the whole tom bombadil arc provides the explanation as to how Eowyn and Merry were able to dispatch the Witch King
– and 2) for unknown reasons sleeping in his house causes everyone to have horrible nightmares… EXCEPT for Sam who has a peaceful and dreamless night. no explanation offered for any of this.
considering that Pippin’s dad is named Paladin, you fucking know he claimed the right to name each and every one of his children and his poor wife just begged him to choose a different letter to start with
also aragorn openly admitting to being fucking lonely and just wanting friends is treated like a weirdly funny joke in the book by the way that some of the hobbits react to it, and frodo also proceeds very soon after to basically tell aragorn that he’s pretty foul-looking but seems a good guy
yes to the above & a small correction + one i forgot:
– Merry does in fact gift Saruman the weed. It’s the bag it’s in that Saruman steals and runs off with. (also give that Merry stole the weed from Saruman’s personal supply in the first place i can’t say i blame him)
– Aragorn literally has magical healing powers. i don’t think they ever explain this in the films but he does very much have healing powers.
– the Ents are able to tear down the entire wall around Isengard, but can for whatever reason not make a single dent in the tower of Orthanc itself
– several riders knew that Merry was there and coming with them to the fields of Pelennor even though he was forbidden to do so, and they just sort of shrug and don’t tell the king
– GOD Merry and the riders: they don’t just shrug they straight up act like he isn’t there. to the point where if he talks they just pretend like they don’t hear him. this hurts his feelings.
– Merry doesn’t recognise Eowyn until she reveals herself to the witch-king. it could be that her disguise is just that good but Eowyn herself seems to be kind of surprised that he doesn’t recognise her so it’s possible he’s just a dumbass.
– Pippin goes all in for a suicide mission at the Black Gate because he thinks that Frodo and Sam are captured and/or dead and everything is lost anyway, so he just decides that if he’s going to die, he’s going to die fighting, and then he almost gets squashed by a troll
– Gimli found Pippin underneath said troll after the battle, only because Pippin’s fucking foot was sticking out, and probably had a bit of a panicky moment while he was MOVING the troll to drag Pippin out of there
– i can’t believe i forgot about the troll: Pippin single-handedly slays a troll & then its body falls on him and he’s just lying there like ‘well i guess this is how i die’
– Gimli 100% thought pippin was dead when he found him and was so distraught he almost ripped his beard out
– There’s also Aragorn making the Mouth of Sauron flee with terror because he glared at him. Not a joke. (An argument can be made here for Aragorn having psychic powers)
Or intimidation proficiency
If I may add…
– Legolas falling out of a tree and screaming.
– Legolas dropping hie bow. And screaming.
– Legolas just screamed. A lot.
– Legolas singing a song that he only knew half of.
– “Do what you will in your madness but I wish to see no eyes!”
– Legolas straight up walking away after a battle and singing
– Legolas sneaking Gimli into Valinor like contraband Twizzlers into the movie theater.
– everybody rags on Frodo for being a dumbass at the Prancing Pony, but listen, Merry knew they were on a top secret mission carrying the Ring and that the forces of Sauron were actively searching for them and not far away and he still decided it would be a good idea to just go out for awalk, at night in a strange city, all by himself, just because he fucking felt like some fresh air
Ok TO BE FAIR to Merry, unlike the others he hadn’t actually SEEN the Nazgul at this point (just glimpsed one from the other side of the river) and as a result doesn’t understand just how much danger they’re in.
I found my copy of the books a few days ago… might be time for a reread…
don’t forget when saruman went evil and told gandalf he promoted himself from saruman the white to “saruman of many colours” gandalf was like “but i liked white better”,,,,,he legit said that that was his rebuttal
Ok but what about when legolas, gimli and Aragorn are tracking merry and pippin and legolas just watches as Aragorn rolls around in the fucking dirt and when he’s like “there are a lot of riders on horses coming this way!!” legolas is basically like, yea I know I’ve seen them for awhile there are 105 and their leader is tall LEGOLAS
– In the movies, Gandalf catches Sam eavesdropping and forces him to accompany Frodo, and Merry and Pippin are just kinda there–but in the book, it turns out Frodo is Very Bad at keeping secrets and is lucky the whole Shire doesn’t know about the Ring. All three not only know about the Ring almost as soon as Frodo does, but they organize an actual goddamn conspiracy to spy on Frodo for the purpose of making sure he doesn’t go gallivanting off on an adventure without them whilst preparing supplies for the selfsame adventure, which includes the before-mentioned Fatty Bolger staying behind partially to impersonate Frodo so people won’t know he’s gone for as long as possible
– This is the most forethought any of them show for the entire series. They are never so thoughtful ever again
– There are probably Entwives, or Ent women, living in the Shire. This is evidenced by Sam’s cousin seeing a walking tree, Treebeard commenting that the Entwives would like the Shire when Merry and Pippin describe it to him, and possibly an explanation for why the Shire is so agriculturally rich and bountiful (because Entwives invented agriculture), and why the Hobbits love trees so much
– Nobody knows if the Balrog in the Mines of Moria has wings or not because the text is ambiguous and this is a semi-thorny issue among LotR fans and scholars
– That pony that they send away just before the Mines of Moria? Bill the pony? Totally a recurring character that comes back for the finale
– It is literally never mentioned in the book itself, but the appendices reveal that Merry and Pippin are basically Shire Royalty. Pippin is next in line to be Thain (or Chieftain) of the Hobbits and Merry becomes the Master of Buckland (which is for all intents and purposes an independent Hobbit country bordering the Shire)
– Sam then gets elected Mayor of the Shire, so the three basically rule the Shire as a triumvirate for fifty years, and are officially acknowledged as such by Aragorn
– Except not really because as mentioned earlier Saruman tries to turn the Shire into communist hell, which annoys the Hobbits because they like to think of themselves as libertarians. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
– Also Aragorn declares the Shire off-limits to all humans forever. The law even applies to himself, so when he and Arwen visit they have to set up camp just outside the border with their attendants like fancy hobos
– Hobbits are vicious gossipers and there a popular theory among them that Frodo’s mom murdered his dad by pushing him out of a boat and he grabbed her and pulled her in after him so they both drowned
– There is at least one sentient or near-human intelligence fox living in the Shire. It happens upon Frodo, Sam, and Pippin and wonders why three hobbits are sleeping outdoors in the middle of nowhere, and Tolkien takes the time to point out that it never did find out what they were up to
– When Gandalf goes to Isengard, all the goblins and orcs and mineshafts and everything are already there, but he just kinda—-doesn’t notice them. Not until he’s locked up on top of Orthanc and they cut down all the trees which were apparently hiding everything
And that’s everything I remember off the top of my head, LOL
I adore how she carries his head low, at her side, and not aloft in triumph. This is not a self-aggrandizing hero lauding her great deed. This is a woman who wanted to be left the fuck alone.
Also look at her body. The double hips. The asymetrical boobs. She’s thin, but she’s realistic as hell. That’s a real woman.
Listen my dudes Ancient Egypt existed for a really fuckass long time. Literally just Pharaonic civilization lasted 3,000 years. That’s not even including predynastic civilization and Roman rule. If you lump that in you’re looking at more like… 5,000 years.
Like. If you want a comparison of how long that is: THE YEAR IS CURRENTLY 2018. TWO THOUSAND. TWO-THIRDS OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN PHARAONIC CIVILIZATION HAVE HAPPENED SINCE THE ‘BIRTH OF JESUS CHRIST’
We comparatively just entered the Third Intermediate Period. The Greeks will not take over for another 700~ years. Cleopatra will not be born until the year 2931.
It’s a really long time guys.
Anyway look. Listen. I sat my ass down and wrote out a timeline of “when shit happened if you started at 1AD” because I know backwards numbers are hard to process but here’s an abridged version.
If the first Egyptian Pharaoh came to power in 1AD then…
300: step pyramid built
450: Great Pyramid at Giza built
815: Pepi II dies and civil war breaks out
950: Egypt re-unified
1350: Middle Kingdom ends
1450: New Kingdom begins
1520: Hatshepsut is on the throne
1650: Ahkenaten switches to monotheistic religion and builds a new city
1680: Tutankhamun dies
1720: Ramesses II ‘the great’ ascends to the throne
1740: World’s first peace treaty signed 1790: Ramesses II dies leaving way too many children
1920: Egypt breaks into 2 states again
And now we get to ~~~~the future~~~~. If we started at 1AD all of this stuff hasn’t happened yet
2050: Briefly re-united as a single state
2180: Civil war 2250: Nubian kings take over
2335: Assyrian conquest
2665: Alexander the Great conquers Egypt
2930: Cleopatra VII born
2970: Cleopatra VII dies. Egypt falls to Rome. Fin.
And that’s just starting with the Pharaohs. If you wanted to start with Predynastic Egypt, you can go ahead and ADD ONE THOUSAND YEARS to all of those dates
I hate that this is still getting notes but that it’s getting notes *without the timeline addition* like c’mon, man. I had to do MATHS for this. I DID MATHS FOR YOU PEOPLE AND ALL I GOT WAS A BUNCH OF RACISTS
Concept: the Silmarillion, in the style of Lemony Snicket
“Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a workshop and you decide that the Silmarils would look better in your crown, and you simply grab the Silmarils and take them there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it would be excusable to grab the Silmarils, take them to your fortress, and eat them.”
“Finrod was an Arafinwean, a word which here means ‘lithe blonde twink who, for some reason, everybody in the entire world except for Celegorm seems to underestimate.’
Curufin was smitten, a word which here means ‘not Celegorm.’”
“Now, “in the dark” is a term meaning that one is not aware of something that is going on, and has very little to do with physical light, or the lack of such a thing. If it is a bright sunny day and you are sitting in a park and you have no idea that buried beneath your picnic spot is a treasure chest then you are in the dark not in the dark, and if it is the dead of night and you are traipsing through the woods and you are entirely aware that you are being followed by a troupe of ballerinas then you are not in the dark in the dark, and if you are sitting at your kitchen table working and you are so intent on your work that you do not even realize night has fallen then you are in the dark about being in the dark in the dark, until you look up and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark in the dark. And immediately after Melkor extinguished the Trees, all of Valinor found itself very comprehensively in the dark.“
“Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘attempting to make amends with his half-brother who has just threatened him with a sword.’
Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘willing to trust his half-brother to bring him across an ocean in the boats they have just stolen together.’
Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘about to cross an ice bridge, having previously turned back because such a thing was clearly impossible.’
Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘about to charge an evil god and stab him with a sword.’
Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘dead.’”
“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats, or, in Finrod’s case, werewolves.”
Not to critique evolution, but I would think orange and black stripes wouldn’t be as good for camouflage in a forest as, say, green and black would.
It turns out a lot of animals can’t see the difference between orange and green! Elephants, for instance, have dichromatic vision (two types of cones, rather than three like most humans.)
Check out this diagram from ResearchGate. It deals with the color vision of horses, who are also generally dichromatic. (I think, though I’m not sure, that zebras would have the same color vision as horses.) See how orange and green look to them?
Not to critique evolution but I think prey animals should be better at telling when their predator is dressed like a traffic cone.
It doesn’t matter what zebras see, because tigers are not native to Africa and do not naturally hunt zebra. Tigers are Asian and mostly hunt animals like deer, elk, and buffalo. These aren’t animals with great color vision. They don’t need to have it because they don’t eat fruit and so don’t need to know when the berry is ripe vs when it’s not. Good color vision is too expensive to have if you don’t need it. Deer put their vision stats in a wide field of vision that is sensitive to motion, low light capabilities, and possibly seeing UV light. They don’t have great color and lack a lot of acuity, but have a great sense of smell and good hearing. That’s way more useful if you’re prey. Deer see well in the blue end of the color spectrum and less well in the red. This makes sense because deer are most active in the dawn and dusk periods, when there is more blue in the light. Tigers are taking advantage of deer eyesight by being orange.
We see tigers are being obviously colored because tigers are fruit colored to our tree ape brains.
I don’t know what the best part of this is: implying that deer chose their attributes on a character sheet, or the fact that we get to see tiger colors because they look like a snack.
Ok but like, I think you underestimate just how well they blend in when actually in the environment. Like, just using tigers as an example.
or how about a leopard?
It’s called ‘disruptive colouration’ because the markings help to break up the animal’s outline against the grasses or rocks. And the rosettes on leopards and jaguars? Sun spots shining through the trees and leaves on the ground.
And this is how hard it is to spot them WITH colour vision. Now imagine the above images but with the limited coloured mentioned above?
I’m sorry but there is not an animal in that first leopard picture
Are you, sure about that?
“Tigers are fruit colored” is my new favorite phrase.
do you ever want to stockpile your own blood over the course of a few years and then just go around and start spreading it everywhere before mysteriously disappearing, leaving suspicious amounts of blood throughout the city and turning your whole town into a crime scene which no one can adequately explain outside of somehow being murdered simultaneously at like eight taco bells?
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