Guess who’s changing their voicemail outgoing message
doctor: so are u on any birth control
me: kind of? i guess? idk a witch put a hex on me that made my womb barren after an internet argument, but i’m not sure how effective it is
amy santiago is so well written. she’s the first female nerdy character ive ever seen that isn’t simultaneously a killjoy, and you’d think that dating a slightly immature, wild & reckless guy would make her like that, but she joins in the fun with him (i.e halloween heist!!!) instead of perpetuating the whole “girls dont know how to have fun” thing and she really does have two sides to her, her whole binder and numbers enthusiast face and then she turns around and takes absolutely NO shit from anyone. and even though i dont have much in common with her she’s easily one of my favorite characters ever
and rosa diaz. it is so hard to find a badass woman that is just badass because she wants to be, not cause she went through some tragedy that made her that way (unlike male characters) and it’s just such a joy to see a woman celebrated as this fearless, leather jacket wearing, motorcycle-riding, mysterious, property-destroying character that is also so protective of their friends and would most likely kill for them. women aren’t often celebrated for their ability to destruct and their recklessness and the fire inside of them, and rosa diaz is a perfect encapsulation of that.
and god, last but not least, gina freakin linetti. i have NEVER seen a female character be allowed to be unapologetically cocky and self absorbed without any sort of demonization or consequence. instead, you LOVE gina linetti. you aspire to BE gina linetti and have her state of mind. and the fact that she’s the only non-cop civilian in the squad, but she’s arguably the bravest and/or smartest out of all of them (i.e “gina are you scared?” “scared that you won’t let me use a flamethrower. and use it to throw flame.”) and while it seems on the surface that she doesn’t care about anyone, her bond with every one of the characters is so strong you know she would do anything for them. let more female characters be snarky assholes.
(also douple points for not having these latina & italian women be stereotyped)
My cat brought us a present today. I have never seen a rabbit SO angry.
****He was set free 10 minutes after being caught, photographed, and driven to a nearby field 🙂
“Fuckin cat thinks I’m a fuckin chew toy. Fuckin humans puttin me in a fuckin box with a fuckin carrot like its gonna make this WHOLE SITUATION SO MUCH FUCKIN BETTER! DO I LOOK LIKE BUGS BUNNY TO YOU, FUCKER?!?”
this month’s hottest new club is FYRE FESTIVAL it’s got everything: wild dogs US embassy intervention cheese sandwiches tent fires ja rule using entitled rich kids’ money to give to an nyc feed the hungry charity
Customer (calling from Ireland): “Yes hello, I would like to -”
Sheep in the background: *gentle baa*
Customer: “Uh, sorry, what I want to do is -”
Sheep: *slightly more insistent baa*
Customer: “No, not now! -cough- Excuse me. I have a reservation and -”
Sheep: *VERY LOUD ACCUSATORY BAA*
Customer:“Arnulf! Please be quiet, I am on the phone! … Sorry, I sincerely apologize on behalf of Arnulf.”
me: “I love and forgive him.”
Customer: “Don’t, he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway, I’m calling about -”
Arnulf: *small, very self-satisfied baa*
I once took my kids to a local farm and we found a lil goat with its horns stuck in a fence, just sitting there kinda mournfully on the grass. We tried to help it get free but it was stuck tight. We petted it for a while and fed it some grass (as it had lawnmowered a circle around itself as far as it could reach), and then went back to the ticket office to tell them it needed help, but before I’d said more than: “There’s a goat-” the guy cut me off with a weary wave and said, “Yeah, we know. Stuck in the fence. That’s Brenda. She can get herself out whenever she wants. She just likes the attention.”