blueandbluer:

pulltheotheroneithasbellson:

kariachi:

mrtacomam:

defilerwyrm:

thatickything:

seasonoftowers:

equalistmako:

disgruntledturtle:

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D.”

Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens – aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

well you did ask

Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 lbs of meat.

plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.

Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.

glyndarling:

scumbag-solas:

emmersdrawberry:

If you ever question the depths of depravity available to you in Skyrim please refer to this story;

I am unable to finish the Thieves Guild quest because I accidentally killed an essential quest npc. Erikur in Solitude, you probably know him because his sister wont shut up about it. Erikur was the last quest giver I needed to become the master of the Thieves Guild. He is suppose to be essential, as in he cannot be killed ever because important npc is important. 

‘So where is he?’ I hear you asking.

He is gone. 

Gone into my characters tummy. You see, I was fooling around with the glorious weapon that is the Wabbajack and happened to turn Erikur into a sweetroll….and then I ate him. I ate Erikur. He’s gone forever. Into my tummy. 

I glitched out a main questline because I turned a man into a sweetroll and then I c o n s u m e d  h i m.

I was looking for this story a couple of months ago.  Thank you, Tumblr, for returning it to me.

femminiello:

gan-firling:

neueratemybaby:

cantnotmove:

i have a deep respect for scotland because i was at an ireland vs scotland football match and their chant was “we hate england more than you”

one time at a germany vs scotland game some german fans started the “stand up if you hate england” chant and the whole stadium stood up

WHAT DID WE DO?!