Has anyone ever seen that picture of the horse in the pool with the sunglasses wearing dog in its back and the ’D’ from the Hollywood sign thrown in the bushes?
Ok this is the picture… Can someone explain it to me?
I want to write an alternative version of Romeo and Juliet where instead of being a little ponce and trying to work things out for himself, Romeo asks his smarter friends what to do about the whole thing and Benvolio and Mercutio come up with the world’s greatest plan:
Marriage of convenience between Juliet and Mercutio.
Think about it.
Juliet’s parents want her to marry into the Prince’s family. Mercutio is a good compromise between no marriage and Paris.
Mercutio probably won’t get his inheritance if he keeps being HELLA FUCKING GAY ALL OVER THE PLACE so a beard is only a benefit to him.
They would probably get along great rolling their eyes at how adorably stupid Romeo is.
Romeo and Benvolio could get a “bachelor pad” right next to Juliet and Mercutio’s house. Every night, Romeo and Mercutio high five as they hop the fence to go bang their one true love.
The second half of the play is just all of them trying to keep up the charade and being “THIS CLOSE” to getting caught all the time. But everything ends nicely because true love conquers all.
Everybody wins. Nobody dies.
THE SHAKESPERE AU I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED
DUDE DID YOU JUST FIX ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC PLAYS EVER CREATED?!
ONCE AGAIN EVERYTHING IS SOLVED BY THE QUEER LENS.
I went to [Tolkien’s] public lectures. They were absolutely appalling. In those days a lecturer could be paid for his entire course even if he lost his audience, provided he turned up for the first lecture. I think that Tolkien made quite a cynical effort to get rid of us so he could go home and finish writing Lord of the Rings.
“He gave his lectures in a very, very small room and didn’t address us, his audience, at all. In fact he looked the other way, with his face almost squashed up against the blackboard. He spoke in a mutter. His mind was on finishing Lord of the Rings, and he was really musing to himself about the nature of narrative. But I found this so fascinating that I came back week after week, as did one other person. I’ve always wondered what became of him, because he was obviously equally fascinated. And because we stuck there, Tolkien couldn’t go away and write Lord of the Rings! He would say the most marvelous things about the way you take a very basic plot and twitch it here and twitch it there–and it becomes a completely different plot.”
– Diana Wynne Jones, author of the Chronicles of Chrestomanci, the Dalemark quartet, Howl’s Moving Castle, on J. R. R. Tolkien’s lectures.
harmony vs romione vs dramione – it was getting UGLY out there (hell, it’s STILL ugly out there)
constant idealization of draco and constant demonization of ron – which led to the creation of the “draco in leather pants” and “ron the death eater” tropes. (you still see this, of course, but i think we’re getting better)
my immortal dramatic readings EVERYWHERE
my immortal still being on fanfiction.net
actual fanart of my immortal
soooo many youtube music videos for the creator’s otp
“harry potter chatroom” videos on youtube where the premise was that each character had a laptop and was in an online chatroom for some reason. usually each character got their own music that played in the background while they “typed,” and they all looked like this:
i wish i was kidding
i may have been obsessed with these when i was nine
so many fanvids of draco with “untitled” by simple plan (aka “how could this happen to meeeeeeeeeeeee i made my mistaaaaaaaakes”)
fanfics where voldemort had a daughter (and it was ALWAYS a daughter. pre-cursed child, mind you.)
people actually liking snape
pretty blatantly ignoring the fact that electricity doesn’t work at hogwarts in fanfictions
THE RISE OF DRARRY
drapple (draco + green apples. not joking.)
that fanfic that was a lemon of the giant squid and the hogwarts castle… i can’t be the only one that read it out of sheer morbid curiosity
jily fanfics that gave lily two OC friends that would be paired off with sirius and remus
no muggleborn slytherins, ever
fanmade potter puppet pal videos – some of them were quite good, but most weren’t
bashing viktor krum, cho chang, lavender brown, fleur delacour, and the entire weasley family for no reason
fics where people “switched houses”
people actually shipping snily
you could always tell the author’s opinion of draco malfoy based on whether they called him “malfoy” or “draco” in their narration
fanvids of “you belong with me” for every ship imaginable
the trio ALWAYS being white in fanart
fics where hermione randomly got hot over the summer
sorting yourself into slytherin to be “edgy”
or because you had a crush on tom felton
or both
pairing hermione with literally every male character. ron, harry, draco, cedric, fred and george (sometimes both at once), lucius, snape, voldemort, neville, dean, seamus… if they interacted in canon (or even if they didn’t), they were shipped
“transfer student” OCs to explain why they haven’t been there for the past five years
not many same-gender pairings apart from wolfstar and drarry
harmony fanfics making ginny an “evil bitchy slut” and ron a drunken rapist so harry and hermione can find comfort in each other’s arms
people placing literal bets with actual money on who would die in the last book
which led to a bit of an issue for people who had bet on harry, as no one was sure whether or not it actually counted since he didn’t stay dead
my immortal predicting that harry would turn out to be a horcrux
people flipping the fuck out when their otps got sunk in the epilogue and swearing off the series forever
everyone having a crush on oliver wood (to be fair this one is completely understandable)
school play fanfics, usually with the purpose of getting their otp to kiss on stage (i am 1000% convinced jk rowling had “tales of beedle the bard” mention that theatrical productions are banned at hogwarts specifically to get people to knock it off)
“american exchange student” OCs
a girl ends up in harry’s (or draco’s) dorm for some reason – either bc she’s pulling a mulan or because of a mistake no one bothered to fix
lots of fanfics of the otp banging bc “i don’t want to die a virgin”
“101 ways to annoy lord voldemort” lists
calling voldemort “moldyshorts”
fanfics of the characters somehow reading the harry potter books and reacting to them (these were all taken down bc of copyright)
leaving peter out of marauders fanart and fanfic (i understand the urge but come on he was a marauder it’s what made his betrayal so tragic)
fred/george fanfic (my eyes, they bleed)
fred and george (but mostly fred) being the school heartthrobs
think of any two characters. any two. there is a fanfiction somewhere that ships them. (this is still true, of course – in a fandom this massive, it’s inevitable)
if you spoiled THAT DEATH from the sixth book, and someone murdered you for it, it was your fault
same with THAT DEATH from the fifth book. and a certain few THOSE DEATHS from the seventh.
cedric dying was old news within like a month though.
the divide between people who had gotten into the series late (or, sometimes, because of the movies) and people who had been there since (almost) the beginning
people refusing to go online until they’d finished reading the seventh book for fear of spoilers (i am SO glad i didn’t have tumblr back then)
people actually saying they wanted to join the death eaters
every character was either good or evil. no in between as far as the fandom was concerned.
everyone’s icon looking like this for some reason
dramione fanfics where he calls her mudblood AFTER THEY START DATING??? AND SHE PUTS UP WITH IT????
dramione fics where hermione heals him with her love
making ginny out to be the school bicycle and basically burning her at the stake for going on dates
fics where the head boy and girl get their own separate room??? for some reason???
VAMPIRE AUS (usually harry and/or draco)
dumbledore either being 100% heroic or satan
hermione’s parents always being named “dan and emma”
fics where hermione turns out to be adopted and a pureblood all along!
harry switching to the dark side for some reason??
basically
the harry potter fandom has ALWAYS been wild
it’s the same shit as always, the details are just different
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