"You used to be my father. Now, you're my architect. The man who designed a better son to replace the defective one he was given."
This storyline was so fucking heavy bc Julian being genetically engineered is a scandal
But
Julian being genetically modified by his parents at the age of 6 to “fix/cure” his what is very likely autism or something similar, to make him into the “real” son they felt they deserved?
i don’t know how people feel about harley having actual powers but the idea of her being able to pull off ridiculous, “cartoon logic” things like in who framed roger rabbit or looney tunes or tom and jerry whereas every one else has to adhere strictly to “real world” logic is something that I very much want
things like her pulling her giant mallet out of no where or having endlessly deep pockets on her skin tight jester suit
or her having a wile e coyote and road runner relationship with Batman
Harley chasing Batman going through different doors in a hallway and coming out other doors like in scooby doo
Harley painting a hyper realistic alleyway on the side of a building, Batman cruises straight through it in the Batmobile but Harley tries to run through and gets flattened
That last one indicates that it’s a cosmic power that she can’t fully control and doesn’t even always work in her favor, and that somehow makes it even better.
i just cant get over the lobster scene. like his friends are actively begging him, do not get into the lobster tank. please eddie. tom hardy you were in mad max fury road dont do this. and tom hardy looks at his friend like “i know i shouldnt do this. i shouldnt be getting into this lobster tank but i’m going to anyway. i’m already mostly inside. cant stop now. i’m sorry i dont want to be doing this either there’s just no other choice for me.” and then he takes a bg bite out of a live lobster that’s still in the shell and everything.
tom hardy doesn’t actually know he’s being possessed by an alien yet in the story. he’s just resigned himself to whatever fucking meltdown he seems to be having. he doesn’t even seem particularly surprised that things have gone this way for him. like ten minutes later he finds out his heart stopped working and hes just like “you asshole” and he throws his alien parasite against the wall like a water balloon. and then he just leaves and is immediately kidnapped. what a fucking wild ride tom hardy is on.
tom hardy’s actual superpower is being the exact same level of dysfunctional no matter what is happening in his life. so when everything’s going ok for him he self-destructs spectacularly, but when literally everything that can happen to a human being happens to him, he does, like, unrealistically well. climbing into a lobster tank and eating a live animal with large claws just like… “well, this is what’s happening to me today. i’m so sorry you have to watch this, man. anyway here goes, i’m going to bite into a living creature with my human mouth and then LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS”
this movie’s fucking killing me from the inside.
IT WASNT EVEN IN THE SCRIPT TOM HARDY IS JUST A FUCKING GENUINE MADMAN
Bruce is fantastic at conflict resolution: he always cuts to the core of an issue.
He isn’t battling his daddy issues or going on a self-righteous ego trip everytime there is an argument amongst the team. He focuses on the issue at hand. He goes straight to the heart of the matter
in each case —
it is strange that SHIELD claims to be in the energy business
—
they are locating the Tesseract, but they demand to know why SHIELD is making weapons of mass destruction using it —
that being scientists, they would have better idea as to what they are doing in regards to Vision
—
that they’re under a huge time constraint and the priority should be finding the infinity stones before deciding what to do with them. Thus, Bruce is
easily
able to clarify either the importance or the urgency of an issue; and highlights what needs to be the priority of the team.
This is also the reason why, in Infinity War, Bruce almost ended years-long feud between the Avengers by saying a simple line
—
“It doesn’t matter who’s talking to whom. Thanos is coming.”
aka there is a reason why Bruce had to be taken out of the narrative for Civil War to be possible.
good morning I just woke up obsessed with the idea of a movie filmed in the style of a true crime documentary except it’s in the Twilight universe and a bunch of completely ordinary humans are trying to figure out why Bella effectively disappeared after high school without knowing anything about vampires
let’s review the Facts of the Case as far as anyone who’s not in on the secret knows them
super normal teenage girl moves to small town
becomes obsessed with a guy who by all appearances is in a cult
the incident where they dramatically broke up and Bella tried to go back to Phoenix but Edward followed her and they got back together but also Bella’s leg got mysteriously broken
another dramatic breakup and this time the entire family skips town leaving Bella catatonically depressed
sudden trip to Italy??? and then the entire family comes back???
Whatever Happened In Eclipse I Don’t Remember
Bella marries boyfriend of approx. a year and a half, goes away on an exotic vacation and immediately contracts a life threatening disease
is rarely seen in public again until her mysterious death, which if I’m remembering correctly is a thing?? because Bella was pretty sure her mom wouldn’t be able to handle the vampire thing and that they were going to have to fake a death which is!! fucked UP
also apparently the Cullens haven’t ever bothered with, like, changing their names, so if anyone goes poking around they’re easily going to discover a family of seven rich weirdos moving around various overcast cities together for at least a century
tell me you wouldn’t watch this shit
highlights:
generic Missing White Woman opening that rapidly spirals into interviews Bella’s hilarious tacky high school classmates talking shit about the Cullens (Mike Newton’s Time To Shine)
Charlie (who Knows) uncomfortably lying to the camera about how of course he’s Very Sad about all of this and misses his daughter a whole lot. the crew immediately begins speculating about Charlie’s involvement.
a few scenes shot in Italy. the voice over concludes that there are no clues to be found there while a Volturi member hovers very obviously in the background for the audience’s enjoyment
testimonies about Carlisle’s character that end with the interviewee getting distracted thinking how hot he was, including Charlie
a segment trying to figure out what the Fuck Jacob’s involvement is followed by a montage of werewolves slamming their front doors in the crew’s faces
a brief mention of the murder spree that happened in Seattle during Bella’s senior year but quickly shrugging it off as DEFINITELY unrelated to any of this
trying to dig into where the Cullens lived before Forks and quickly realizing that None Of These Children Existed Before the Age of Seventeen
briefly toying with a kidnapping scenario before stumbling onto a record of the Cullens in some other town that’s JUST old enough to be inconsistent with the ages they were supposed to be in Forks
“wait I think all the kids were actually in their twenties, maybe?”
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