sif and valkyrie meet on a lesbian dating app on earth and for the whole date theyre both in disguise as midguardians not realizing that both of them are from asgard
What I love about this is they’d both be terrible at it but for completely opposite reasons.
Sif would try very hard but she is an earnest Old Worlde Asgardian to her bones and would be every alien/timetraveller-fails-to-fit-in cliche at once. “More of your Earth food, please, fellow human” and so forth.
Valkyrie has spent a few thousand years in a cutthroat multicultural urban environment and could probably adapt and pass as human if she actually tried, but instead she’d do the most token effort imaginable. It’s not like any of these Midguardians would recognise alien tech, and changing clothes is effort, etc.
And both of them would be very pleased at how much easier this all was than they were expecting. “I’m doing great!” they would both think, comparing notes on their favourite kind of spaceship (midguardians have spaceships, right?) and having an arm wrestling context where they use 1/10th of their strength, eg enough to break the arm of any actual human.
And then eventually Sif would be overcome with guilt and tearfully explain her Terrible Lie and Valkyrie would go YOU MEAN I PUT ALL THIS EFFORT IN FOR NOTHING and then Sif would die of fangirling because Valkyrie.
And then they’d make out, the end.
um um um SOMEONE WRITE THIS STORY OH MY GOD amazing
n*tasha: (kisses bruce and then shoves him off a cliff, hoping that his fear of falling to his death will bring the hulk out)
bruce: (hulks out because he’s terrified of dying)
thor: hey uh…i’d appreciate it if the hulk could help me save my entire civilization. oh…? you’re not comfortable with that?? okay, i understand, there are other ways that you can help us.
bruce: (sees that the situation is next to hopeless without hulk, and changes willingly in order to protect thor and his people)
Hmmmmmmm. It’s almost as if Nat sees Bruce as a tool/ monster while Thor sees Bruce, no matter what, as a friend 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
What if instead of gilly weed Harry had showed up to the black lake challenge in muggle scuba gear like “like where’s your advanced magic now bitches? Got me a free fishing knife with this thing”
Honestly I just want an AU where Harry approached all his magical problems with muggle solutions. Nobody knows how to handle it because he’s supposed to be there learning magic but you know what, it fucking works.
Give me Harry Potter who is like fucking MacGuyver up in this shit, creating his own non-magical solutions to magical problems.
“Potter how did you get past the enchanted keys to the Sorcerer’s Stone?”
“I used a fucking net.”
“How did you get past the dragon?”
Harry shines a little red light on the wall “works on cats, why not a dragon”
“How did you get through the hedge maze?”
“Weed-b-gone, it’s like a pound. Nothing will ever grow there again”
It’s the final battle between Harry and Voldemort. The Dark Lord begins to prepare a spell to end Harry Potter’s life once and for all when….
“We can rebuild her… We have the technology… We know the way!”
A few months ago I ripped apart a Moana doll and made it into a stop-motion puppet using a kinetic armature kit.
The walk cycle above was the first thing I animated with this puppet, and was just a throw-away practice test with no green screen. I had never done a walk cycle in stop-motion before and soon discovered how difficult animating a straight-ahead cycle within a localized space with no retakes could be.
I showed the cycle to my dad while he was holding my Moana puppet in his hand and he seemed more impressed with this crappy test than the actual animation I did on the movie! I think the combination of him holding the puppet, and then seeing it come to life on the video before him was what blew him away. I guess that’s the appeal and magic of stop-motion. 🙂
Here’s a second test I animated for fun:
I read that it’s best to have the foot joints nice and tight to hold the weight of the puppet, and have the arms looser. It’s amazing how much weight those toe and foot ball-joints could hold for the falling poses:
I just finished reading “Cosette” The Sequel to Les Miserables” by Laura Kalpakian. For those who do not know, this book is basically a 650-page (kinda shitty) fanfic that somehow was published as a real, purchasable book sometime in the 1990′s. Here are some of my favorite moments:
A quote from Javert: “Republican scum like you can’t
overthrow the king of France. One day more and you’ll piss blood. I’ll meet you
in hell.”
A quote from Valjean: “She is seventeen, too young to
be in love. She is a child. This Marius, he is nothing to her. She wanted a
puppy once and I said no and she got over it.”
Enjolras scrambles to the top of the barricade and just….screams SHIT!
For some reason in the whole barricade part in the beginning
Combeferre is the ami that gets the most attention
The only amis that are mentioned are: Combeferre, Enjolras,
Feuilly, and Courfeyrac. The only ami that gets mentioned beyond the 1832
barricade section is Feuilly because of the whole “vivent les
peuples!” thing written on the wall of the Musain. Which, btw, the author
always writes as “vive les peuples!”
Actually the author made up some OCs in the barricade
section so there could be some barricade survivors for Marius and Cosette to
interact with later in the book
“You will hang by your cock in hell.”
For some reason whenever Jean Valjean is mentioned in the
first portion of the book, he is described as having large, powerful hands
Cosette had no sex education and so on her wedding night she
asked Marius to teach her. And he just gestures to her boobs and says “this is a nipple.” It is the only thing he vocally says to her and
then he is kissing her boobs and they go at it. I kid you not this is the big
amazing wedding sex scene and the most notable line is “this is a
nipple”
Remember the whole absolutely no sex education thing? Well
they somehow have amazing sex all night long regardless
Azelma is the main antagonist in the book. Also she is
ALWAYS referred to as Zelma. I don’t know where the A went. It’s gone forever I
guess.
A quote from Thenardier: “I am one of those holy men. I
can walk in shit, sit in shit, sleep in shit, eat shit, drink shit, and still
my turds come out in perfect golden bricks.”
Marius regularly goes to prison like it’s a casual thing
that happens often which is an inconvenience but you know what are ya gonna do
Marius and Cosette raise the biggest asshole of a son there
is literally nothing redeeming about him
Azelma ‘Zelma’ Thenardier literally fucked Louis-Napoleon and had a
child with him.
She named the child Eponine.
Azelma feels like she needs to take revenge against Cosette
for the whole Marius thing and she basically uses her daughter Eponine II to
fulfill that, as if ensuring Eponine II is successful will make ghost Eponine
happy
Speaking of Eponine II there is an entire subplot where
Azelma manages to force the son of Cosette and Marius to marry Eponine
II……because she felt that her sister Eponine should have married
Marius……..so like, by marrying her daughter Eponine to a Pontmercy she’s
fulfilling some kind of lost destiny shit. And also taking revenge against
Cosette. Azelma is really freaky in this okay
Cosette disguises herself as an old beggar due to a mixture
of political and economic reasons and calls herself “the plumed lark”
when she is in her disguise. Weirdest superhero ever amiright
Marius sneaks out of prison dressed up as the plumed lark
THERE IS A SEX SCENE THAT TAKES PLACE WITH ONE PERSON HIDDEN
UNDERNEATH A HOOP SKIRT
i am not fucking with you. “this is a nipple” is probably the most iconic part of the book
myblog 