What if instead of gilly weed Harry had showed up to the black lake challenge in muggle scuba gear like “like where’s your advanced magic now bitches? Got me a free fishing knife with this thing”
Honestly I just want an AU where Harry approached all his magical problems with muggle solutions. Nobody knows how to handle it because he’s supposed to be there learning magic but you know what, it fucking works.
Give me Harry Potter who is like fucking MacGuyver up in this shit, creating his own non-magical solutions to magical problems.
“Potter how did you get past the enchanted keys to the Sorcerer’s Stone?”
“I used a fucking net.”
“How did you get past the dragon?”
Harry shines a little red light on the wall “works on cats, why not a dragon”
“How did you get through the hedge maze?”
“Weed-b-gone, it’s like a pound. Nothing will ever grow there again”
It’s the final battle between Harry and Voldemort. The Dark Lord begins to prepare a spell to end Harry Potter’s life once and for all when….
Do y’all want to hear a secret story I’ve never told anyone?
(ok here goes. its funny i promise)
At the time this story took place, I was like 6 years old. Growing up, I was a very mature child because I was never around other kids my age. My mom used to work a lot, so that left me with my dad but my dad was high off his ass (weed smoker) all the time, so he’d be passed out. My siblings were all in their late teens and with friends, so when I got home it was just me by myself. Everyday
And I had no other way to entertain myself than by watching TV. I watched everything, but my favorite was the after dark shows that came on HBO and stuff. The down side of watching those things was that I learned about things that was way ahead of my time with no adult supervision.
Well, one day when I came home from school I was watching TV (dad was alseep again and I was alone) and I saw one of those little flity phone companies. They were like sex operators or whatever, but at that time, my naive ass just thought that it was to find best friends. Like penpals and stuff, so one day I got the house phone and dialed the number.
The first thing that popped up was this super seductive voice but my dumb ass just assumed the person was sick (lmfao) and it said “For a man, press one. For a woman, press two.”
So I was thinking “Boys are gross, I need a best friend that’s a girl.” So I pressed two.
It rang a couple times until this lady answered the phone and I remember her saying “Hey, my name is Cynthia. What’s your name?”
So I was like ‘shit I gotta come up with something cool to tell my bestie’ “What’s up, Cynthia.”
And immediately, she got super quiet before she asked me “Um…whom am I speaking to?”
“The name is Delilah, but all my friends call me D.” (I remember I was coloring in my Lisa Frank diary when I said it too omg)
And Cynthia got quiet again before speaking. “Uh, how old are you?”
“I’m six and a half.” *scribbles in diary harder* “What about you?”
So she got super quiet again and was like “Uh…sweetie, where is your mother?”
“My mom’s at her job. Something my dad can’t seem to get.” *takes a sip from juicebox*
And I could hear her let out a stiffled laugh from the other line before clearing her throat. “Well, where is your father?”
“My dad smoked too much weed again and he passed out. Again.”
This time, she let out a louder laugh and I was like ‘heck yeah I made a friend. Check mate.’
So Cynthia askes me another question. “You’re not old enough to be on here, honey. I think you should hang up.”
So I got really pressed and kinda got sassy with her and busted out a line I had seen used in the movie Clueless. “Listen Cynthia, I’m a young, independent woman that don’t need no man. I need a friend, okay? It said you’d be nice to me on the TV.”
At this point I could hear her laughing really loud and before I could finish, she stopped me. “C-Can you hold on one second, honey? I’ll be right back. Stay right where you are.”
I was like “Okay.” And in the mean time, I made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and got some juice to get comfy while I waited. She finally came back like five minutes later and asked me if I was still there. I told her I was and this time, I could hear my voice echo a bit, meaning I was on speaker obivously.
“How old are you again?” She asked.
“I’m six and a half, don’t forget it, girlfriend!” *sassily snaps my fingers and takes a sip from juice*
This time, i could hear people laughing and saying ‘oh my god’ and shit like that in the background, so I asked her who it was. She told me they were her buddies and I remember saying something like “It’s always good to have ya homeis with you, right?’ and everyone laughed again.
Then they started asking me all kinds of shit too.
“Where do you live?”
“In a house, duh.”
“What school do you go to?”
“Why? So you can kidnap me? No thanks, girl.”
“How did you even get this number?”
“The TV, duh.”
Now after a while the group of people buzzed off and it was just me and Cynthia on the phone. We had a cool conversation about Lisa Frank books and I learned that she lived in Seattle with her boyfriend and that she had a little girl a couple years older than me.
At one point, I told her about the boys in my school that were bullying me and that I didn’t think I was very pretty. And you know what? She gave me some advice that I never forgot, even til this very day I still remembered it. She told me,
“Sometimes people will be mean to you for no reason and they won’t like you, but all that matters is if you like you. If you like yourself, that’s all that matters.”
Now at one point, nine o’clock rolled around and it was my bedtime, so I sadly told Cynthia “Okay, bestie. Its my bed time. I don’t wanna miss out on my beauty sleep.” and after exchanging goodbyes, we hung up.
So yeah, that’s my experience with the chatlines. Sometimes I think about Cynthia and wonder what happened to her in life. Is she still with her boyfriend? How is her daughter? I’ll never know.
I never told anyone this until now because its too good not to share lmfao. Adult supervision is important!
This is amazing and I’m so glad you shared it. I hope Cynthia is living her best life.
Effing literally “Drop the T” is a radfem/TERF popular tag.
TERFs are right in lockstep with the right wing as long as trans lives suffer.
A direct quote from the article:
“Attendees were also told to wrap their transphobic rhetoric in the language of feminism, claiming gender identity is a concept offensive to women.”
reblogging because this is not just an abstract dotted line trans people and their allies are drawing for rhetoric’s sake, but very much a literal and intentional initiative on the part of the right. I’m sure that not every budding “gender-critical” radfem has any notion she’s being used as a pawn in this way, the opinions in question will feel organic, but that’s the downstream effect of a well crafted right-wing communications strategy: that’s how this works.
I have read (and see) something about Hades and Persephone having chickens in the underworld, but this is really a fact or is something invent?
Chickens were indeed sacred to Hades and Persephone and an example of this are the terracotta votive tablets from Locri -the ones of the pictures-. There are some books about this subject like Iconography of Religions by Bianchi or Locrian Maidens by Redfield.
The cock/chicken “became the chthonic bird, and was used on tombs, as emblematic of the hope of a reawakening to life”. (Peters) and it is also refered as “an infernal animal of passage” by Bernabe in his book Instructions for the Netherworld: the orphic gold tablets.He also says: ”Cocks allude to the world of the afterlife: as intermediaries between the soul and the Beyond, they intercede between the world of the dead and that of the living”.
Remember Persephone was the goddess of renewal, so at least in Locri, the cock was an usual attribute of her. And in other cultures cocks-chickens were seen as animals related to renewal and life (eggs have that symbolism tooo).
😀 so. chickens for Hades and Persephone all the way.
It’s worse than that. That wasn’t a rubber bullet, that was another tear gas canister–you can see it a few seconds later in the footage when the camera pans over to the advancing cops.
And they shot him in the crotch with it.
If I were feeling charitable I’d say that the cop who fired the shell was aiming for center of mass and miscalculated the distance and hit the guy low.
But I’m not feeling charitable. It’s clear that was a deliberate malicious attack designed to hurt the guy as badly as possible with the weapon at hand. The goal was to cause him pain and intimidate bystanders.
this really is dystopic, isn’t it?
Shout out to the dude who came and helped him up
THIS IS WHY YOU BLACK BLOC. WHEN EVERYONE IS MASKED AND IN ALL BLOC, IT MAKES IT VERY DIFFICULT FOR THE POLICE TO TARGET INDIVIDUALS LIKE THIS
MASK UP, COME IN BLOC, BE PREPARED, YOU. COULD SAVE SOMEONES LIFE
Also get to know your street medics and maybe buy them a drink later. They’ll often be the ones picking you up and making sure you’re good after this shit happens
