“Oops, dropped your coat!” You cheerfully pick up the soft fur coat off the floor and carefully drape it back over the person’s chair. They stare at you with wide, stunned eyes. They’re remarkably attractive. You awkwardly wave at them and go sit down at your table.
They’re a selkie, you “gave” them back their coat, you now have a gorgeous and besotted selkie spouse. Hey, they don’t make the rules.
The next day, the attractive person you met shyly approaches you and gives you a little box with a ring inside. You blush, a little confused, and stare at them.
“I… Isn’t this… An engagement ring?”
“Well… We… We should get married by human customs as well.”
“… What?”
HARD INSPO
What if the person who returned the selkie’s coat is already married by human standards?
This sounds like a rollicking good romp, whose gonna write it?
Moira is laughing so hard that Wendy’s really afraid she’s going to fall over. “It’s not funny.”
“You…” Moira has to lean on the kitchen counter to catch her breath before she can continue. “You got engaged to a selkie by accident. You fucking dumpster fire.”
“Hey!” Wendy yelps. “I’m your wife!”
“My wife the dumpster fire.” Moira wipes her eyes and meets Wendy’s annoyed look. “Come on. This is beyond even for you. Embrace it. It’s amazing.”
Wendy grudgingly smiles. “Fine. It’s the best story at the party for the rest of my life, but it doesn’t change the fact that now the selkie wants to marry-marry me, and when I explained I was already married, she didn’t see it as an obstacle.”
Moira thinks about that as a real thing rather than the cherry on the ridiculous circumstances sundae. “Does marriage mean the same to a selkie as it does a human? Like, is she expecting financial support and emotional support and sex?”
Wendy shrugs. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I was kind of trying not to fear-vomit on my shoes.”
“You have her number?”
“Yeah.”
“Call her. We’ll have her over for dinner and see what the rules are.”
*
The rules, it turns out, are not complicated. The selkie–whose name is Murdina–is taken aback when Moira explains what humans consider a good marriage.
“Oh, no,” she says. “No, I don’t require all of that. I have plenty of my own money from the shipwrecks, and while I can value the emotional support you offer, I have many ways to achieve it. I have a large family and many friends in the ocean, and as we all live here at the seaside, it is very easy to see them.”
Ship wrecks? Wendy mouths at Moira. Moira files it away for later. “And the sex?” she asks.
Murdina smiles and seems to blush, though Moira isn’t quite sure. “Well, I would not be…adverse…but I have lived among humans over the many years, and I understand it is not always compatible to have more than a single bed partner.”
Moira files that away for later as well. She and Wendy have been discussing if more than a single bed partner might be just right for them, but now is not the time. “So, how is the marriage beneficial to you, then?”
“Once I am married, my coat cannot be taken. It might stolen, but it is not taken. Do you understand?”
Moira glances at Wendy. Wendy knows more about mythology than she does (part of the reason this entire situation is so fucking funny). “Darling?”
“She means that since she is sworn to a human, another human cannot lay claim against her will.”
“Yes,” Murdina agrees. “Honestly, I try to never wear my skin in public, but I was dining with an old friend, and she wanted us both to wear our finest. So, we did. When Wendy picked up my coat and gave it to me, I felt…hope.”
“Hope?” Moira asks.
Murdina looks wistful. “I knew she did not know what she had done and so was not in any way trying to entice me. She had performed a simple kindness, and I thought, perhaps, it could lead to a larger agreement between us. I don’t know every human custom, but I do know the exchange of rings.”
Moira glances at Wendy. Wendy looks confused but charmed. Moira feels the same. “You never had intent to marry Wendy as humans marry, then? I mean that you intended the ring for what it was, but you did not intend for Wendy to take on the other aspects?”
“Correct. I meant to form a union that would protect me and perhaps enrich Wendy.”
“Enrich?” Wendy asks.
“I know many, many stories and have the financial ability to travel wherever I like.” Murdina smiles at Wendy, then gives the same smile to Moira. “I would be happy to have you join us, of course. I would never demand Wendy be separate from you if she’s chosen you.”
“She has,” Moira replies, smiling softly. She looks at Wendy again, and Wendy nods. “But I think we can come to an agreement to choose you as well.”
“Lovely,” Murdina says. “Two companions would be delightful.”
This is delightful. What happens next?
This is freaking awesome.
@silentwalrus1 (is it weird that random people see seal/selkie things and automatically think “ah yes, the pinniped overlord would enjoy this”?)
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