jennytrout:

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jumpingjacktrash:

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jumpingjacktrash:

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thecheshirecass:

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everydayconman:

hollowedskin:

fatsexybitch:

coffeeandstring:

verbalvomits:

I threw a dog on the ground today 😭😭😭

I am embarrassed by how hard this made me laugh.

…..does this mean cat people hurl cats at the ground?

you just kind of… open ur arms and they sort themselves out. if you try and place them down they get mad and wiggle and make everything worse

some friends of mine have the most un-cat-ish cat i have ever met

my quintessential example of this:

i was holding him in my arms petting him while we were picking out what games to play that night. when we’d decided on a few, i needed to put the cat down in order to, you know, carry boxes. so i started letting him down, expecting that he’d eventually do the cat hop thing… but he never did.

i ended up lowering him all the way to the floor. and even then he never got his feet under him. i just sort of… plopped him down on his side as he stared up at me like a betrayed sack of flour.

I saw this so clearly in my mind and I’m never going to stop laughing at betrayed sack of flour.

He wasn’t done being held!!!

i have had multiple cats that enjoyed being bowled

yeah. drop cat? fine. toss cat? fine. bowl cat? also fine. as long as the cat is cool with you personally and familiar with the thing, none of these will hurt them or distress them. one of my cats would actively solicit bowling on a stretch of smooth floor.

and then there was maya, who enjoyed being launched across the room from the bed by foot catapult. cats are made of rubber basically.

contrast my mom’s dog george, who would get up on the couch, then cry to be helped down because he was scared to jump.

My cat used to use the sofa as a runway before launching himself across the living room to land on the bean bag. Then he would meow loudly until I fluffed the goddamn bean bag back up.

my cat has arthritis so i put him down gently. But every single time I have him in my arms and we get close to my bed he tries to Cat by leaping out of my fucking arms. 

And since he really can’t get enough air i end up usually throwing him onto the bed. Once he tried while we were too far away and i basically threw him into the side of the bed where he bounced off.

fucking cats

I have done this out of horrible, horrible reflex to so many little yappy dogs.