thedurvin:

nest:

nest:

so today i found out that my great great great grandfather kept a spreadsheet of his sexcapades. my parents, who are writing a book on him, found this out when they were reading his business diary, and they saw an entry that said “fkd. Anne” and my mom was like “lmao that sounds like fucked. ……… Wait” and they proceeded to discover that he kept detailed logs of every single woman he fucked, how many rounds, where he did it, whether he used protection, etc. he fucked approximately 100-300 times per year, and his conquests included:

• his landlady, many times, whom he occasionally paid for the services at a cost of 62.5 cents per fuck
• many of his friends’ daughters and wives— he would go to the friends’ houses on business and just. have sex with their daughters and/or wives in their houses
• at least three different women who disappeared entirely within one month after fuckin him

also, when any of his mistresses had a baby, he would go back in the diary nine months before the birth and mark which fuck was most likely the one that conceived the baby

double also, he would mark the amount of rounds he went with “[number]t” and sometimes he would mark down, say, 3 & 1/2t. we don’t know what this means.

also dude was 5’2”-5’3”, so….. if you ever feel down about being short, remember you too can fuck hugely

How come I never find stuff like this when helping people do genealogy research at work