tv shows with time travel organizations/bureaus/police/agencies/whatever should have a department with instead of a tech genius eating candy, it’s a harried seamstress or fashion designer who is like
“1450 italy? does it look like I have the time to dye you wool? nO. YOU’RE GOING TO THE 1980s”
and throws shoulder pads at the hapless time agent
“I literally made three- THREE- 18th century corsets last week. You can wait until one of them gets back, or you can go sometime post-1920s, because if I have to sew one more god damn channel I will literally lose my mind.”
“Upper middle class?!?!? You told me upper class! FUCK YEAH THERE’S A DIFFERENCE!!!”
“How about kimoNO.”
“Look me in the eyes. I do not care what you want. This is the 1500s. You absolutely cannot wear trousers.”
“Another court gown?? Here’s a novel idea: go as a peasant for once in your life. Why do you do this to me? You’re fucking sadists that’s why.”
“Don’t mind me, I’ll just be up all night hand painting silk.”
“THE POLICY IS ONE MONTH’S ADVANCE NOTICE ON PRE-1900s WOMEN’S FASHION FOR A REASON, DEBRA.”
“Yes, you do have to wear the corset. No, it will not hurt. Do I look like a fucking amateur here? It’s going to fucking fit you. Or it would if you would stop squirming around to look. Hold still.”
“No, how many times do I have to tell you, before the 1830s they’re called stays, not a corset. Stays or a pair of bodies. Who trained you? You have to know what your fucking underwear is fucking called.”
“Yes, you need all these petticoats. No, you cannot leave any of them out. If your hoop shows through to your outermost skirt you’ll look like a fool.”
“Are you over the age of twelve? Then cover your hair. Yeah, I know it’s unflattering. If you look too good, someone will accuse you of witchcraft.”
“I don’t care if you think it makes you look sallow, there is no other kind of dye we can use. You should have told me a week ago that you wanted indigo and not woad blue so I could have made you something from a century later than this???”
“I swear to god if you don’t stop cocking your hip I’m going to use you as a pincushion. This hem needs to be even.”
“I literally spent four hours attaching those sleeves by hand, and if you raise your arms one more time you will rip them off the bodice. Listen. Look at my face. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE YOUR USUAL RANGE OF MOTION. You can either NOT look like an idiot with poorly fitted sleeves, or you can move your arms. Pick one.”
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