tygermama:

bekadmfb:

witch-spellbook:

livingdeadpoetssociety:

gettzi:

scarilysweet:

goddammitstacey:

I just turned to my housemate and said, “y’know, we’d never know if we were haunted” because we have four cats between us, so every clunk, bump, and crash gets entirely ignored

and now I want a movie about a ghost becoming increasingly desperate to haunt a family but they have cats and so the poor dear goes completely ignored

I’ve had this thought before. My cats aren’t allowed in the bedroom, and sometimes I hear them try to come in and just shout “No thank you!” at them. How hilarious would it be if I was really yelling at a poor ghost, trying to spook me.

Between my cat and my ADHD (wait, where did I put my purse? Wasn’t just here? Oh it’s in the pantry. Eh, must be a brain fail. Again.) I would never know whether or not my ass was haunted.

Now all we need is someone with psychosis seeing a demon and going, “Ugh. My meds are messed up again.”
Demon goes, “No I’m real.”
“Sure you are, Kevin.”
“MY NAME IS BELZEBUB.”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP KEVIN I AM TRYING TO STUDY.”

@thebibliosphere

Thing: *goes bump in the night*

Me: *sleeps on becuase my hard-of-hearing ass doesn’t sleep with my hearing aids in*

Thing: This binch… 

IF YOU REALLY WANT ME TO BELIEVE YOU’RE REAL, KEVIN, DO THE FUCKING DISHES!

*two hours later, in the kitchen, searching for coffee *

Omg, Kevin, you did the dishes…

“I TOLD YOU, MY NAME IS BELZEBUB! AND YOU’RE OUT IF DISH SOAP.”