• “You have to present the next phrase, like a French waiter elegantly placing a plate. You don’t just chuck the plate at the table.”
• “Play this part as if you’re humming whilst hanging out the washing.”
• “If you don’t come in correctly, I’ll have to do yoga in order to conduct this part. Unlike you, I’ve been practising.”
• “Cellos, I said con brio, not con bison. Try not to stampede over the wind, please.”
• “Second violins, either you’re exaggerating the pianissimo or you’ve all died. I’m hoping it’s the latter.”

  And my personal favourite:

• “Your playing reminds me of an encounter I had with a bird as a child: unpleasant and with lots of shrieking.”

(via

thingsmymusicprofessorssay

)