People will tell you that emotional abuse isn’t real and what you’re dealing with isn’t that big a deal and you’re just exaggerating, but let me tell you something.
If you’ve ever been wary of everyone you know, even people you trust, because you’re expecting them to get angry with you over literally anything, make fun of you, or start making threats, something’s wrong.
If you’ve ever had to plan things in anticipation of a potential tantrum that you fear will be taken out on you, something’s wrong.
If you succumb to someone’s demands because you’re never sure if their threats are empty or legit and you just want to play it on the safe side, something’s wrong.
If you find yourself jumping at smaller noises in anticipation that they’re a warning sign for a tantrum, something’s wrong.
If you hide things – especially things that make you happy – because you’re so afraid that they’ll make fun of you for liking them, scold you for liking something they don’t, take them away, destroy them, or that they’ll defile them and ruin that love you have for them, something’s wrong.
If you find yourself being silent in the face of mild disagreements or thinly-veiled insults, rather than standing up for yourself because you just don’t want to start an argument and make things worse, something’s wrong.
If that very lack of standing up for yourself eventually leads to you never offering your opinion in any sort of discussion out of fear of ridicule or being scolded because that’s what you’re so used to, something’s wrong.
If you end up spending a lot of your time in your room keeping to yourself and keeping any trip outside of your room to an absolute minimum because you don’t want to risk putting one toe out of line and setting off a tantrum, yet you’re also aware that hiding out will also cause an issue and you’re probably just minimizing the risk instead of erasing it entirely, something’s wrong.
If you ever habitually glance outside the window to keep watch for your supposed abuser’s car to return from their work, errand or trip, and then heading to your room or other hiding place to keep out of their way, erasing any obvious signs that you’ve been out and about in the rest of your living space, something’s wrong.
If one of your greatest fantasies involves not a dream career or winning the lottery but instead an escape plan succeeding, something’s wrong.
If you could basically summarize your life as living in constant, subtle fear, Something. Is. Wrong.
Emotional abuse is very, very real, and it has lasting consequences that can affect people’s relationships, their jobs, and their lives all-around.
Don’t you dare tell me it isn’t real.
Okay but seriously please reblog because if I had seen this as a teenager maybe I would have booked it outta That Relationship instead of putting up with 14 years of hell and before the abuse escalated
thank you
an addendum from someone who’s been there: not everyone becomes fearful and compliant when systematically abused. if you find yourself becoming defensive over harmless comments, if you experience seemingly causeless rages, if you can’t set goals or tasks for yourself because the mere act of completing a task feels like ego death, you may have been emotionally abused by an authority figure.
the more i was dehumanized by my teachers, the more defiant and fearless i became, until i was kind of the classic delinquent, doing reckless shit because i didn’t care what happened to me, and rebelling against absolutely anything that came into my orbit, “happy birthday to the ground” style. this is just as much a symptom of emotional abuse as hiding and silencing yourself.
so just because you’re angry instead of scared doesn’t mean what happened was okay. it just means you’ve got some work to do so you don’t hurt other people while you’re recovering.
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