I’ve been thinking a lot about the meeting between Trump and Obama at the White House, and here’s the thing.
Obama used to be a law professor. This is key.
Law school is so, so different from college.
In college, everyone expects there to be a “syllabus day,” kind of a grace period where they can show up and get the lay of the land, figure out the bare minimum that they can get away with, the TA gives everyone their office hours, there’s an introductory lecture, and everybody leaves a few minutes early to go take a nap or something. You do the bullshit assignments, you say something in class now and then to get your participation check mark, and figure out how badly you can do on the final and still pass.
But see, in law school, all the methodologies you’ve spent the last 17 years operating under go out the window. Day one of law school is you being thrown into the deep end of the pool—you’ve had a homework assignment for two weeks now, and it’s to read the first 200 pages of your casebook. And now it’s you and the teacher (who is usually as smug as Alex Trebek) gauging and assessing what you managed to absorb while you skimmed through all those pages of reading so you could hurry up and get to the other 150 pages of reading for your next period class, in front of 50 people who are all smarter than you. And if you fuck up, or you didn’t do the reading, you are at the mercies of not just the professor, but the silent satisfied judgment of your peers.
Law school is hard, and it will make you feel stupid and tongue-tied and like you don’t know anything and can’t form an argument—because you don’t, and you can’t. Everybody there has had a 4.0 since birth. Everybody there was the smartest kid in their class, and you’re all rabidly competing for a sliver of a chance at something down the road. It’s petty, and savage, fiercely entrenched in a culture of formalities and ceremony, and exactly like Washington DC.
Yesterday when I was driving home, the NPR reporter talking about the Oval Office meeting mentioned that Trump had thought it was going to be a “getting to know you” type meeting, but that he was surprised when Obama stretched their talk out to 90 minutes before sending him along to the Capitol building where he met with congressional leaders for more lengthy meetings and stuff he didn’t want to do.
And he hasn’t even gotten to the actual job yet.
So think about that as we go into this.
Trump walked into the Oval Office like a two-pump-chump freshman thinking it was syllabus day, and what he got was the first day of law school, and he hadn’t done the reading like everyone else had, and Professor Obama decided to put him in the hot seat.
This was Obama’s chance for the most perfect revenge that would never be picked up on as revenge at all. He was gracious, polite—everything he needed to be for a peaceful transition and a good review from the press. And that would continue when the doors were closed, because that’s the key. Not a Come to Jesus meeting, oh no. If Obama were smart—and he is very smart—he would have treated Trump like an equal, and brought the discussion to a level that assumes far more of Trump than anyone has so far. Assumes that he’s an adult who’s been paying attention. Statistics, esoteric minutiae about the executive branch procedure, economic growth numbers, labor figures, domestic policies, countries Trump has never even heard of, shit that would never in a million years have been in Trump’s campaign soundbites or digestible summaries.
No way to escape. No aides to remember any of it for him. Just the two of them.
Because that’s what would strike a precise chill into Trump. The thundering realization that he’s woefully unprepared for the hard, boring, thankless reality of this, and Obama’s version of a smooth transition won’t and shouldn’t include remedial civics.
That’s what I saw when they shook hands and Trump stared at the floor instead of looking back into Obama’s face. He’s just figured out how little he knows about any of this.
And that should give you a small glow of satisfaction, because after those meetings, Trump definitely has the 1L Terror Shits. In January, the night sweats and insomnia will show up, but for these first few weeks—nothing but diarrhea and self-doubt.
He also seemed to realize, at last, that his life will never be the same. Trump Tower is now a restricted zone – no-fly for new copters, visitors heavily screened, and the Secret Service will need a list of everyone who works there and a list of all visitors so they can screened before entry – so it’s no longer a tourist attraction and it’s likely tenants will find ways to break their lease due to the sheer inconvenience factor. Ditto Mar-a-lago, which is not only Trump’s winter home but a working resort offering day spa, wedding, and event services. Expect bookings to dry up almost completely once people realize that their wedding guests and caterers will need to be checked by the Secret Service.
And then there’s the fact – not the possibility, the fact – that the President is never, ever alone. Ever. He’s followed by the Secret Service, political and military aides, and the White House photographer. His office is visible from the South Lawn, and his day is scheduled down to the second. The only time he will ever be alone is in the toilet, and there’ll be someone waiting outside that if he isn’t in the official Residence.
Let’s not forget the Resident, either. Trump can make some changes – bring in his own furniture, for instance – but the White House is a museum and he will not be allowed to make any major structural or decorative changes like slathering gold leaf on the crown moldings or redoing the Family Kitchen. Ditto the Oval Office – he can commission his own rug and use a different desk and have the walls repainted, but he won’t be allowed to turn it into a Louis Quatorze fantasy or replace all the artwork with portraits of himself.
As for his official duties…he’ll have to pardon a turkey, deliver the State of the Union address, and speak to the American people every week in a radio address that he won’t be able to improvise. He’ll have to host State Dinners and Kennedy Center honors, bestow medals to soldiers, and chair cabinet meetings and meetings with the Joint Chiefs. He’ll have to lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknows on Veterans’ Day, send out Christmas and Hannukah cards, and attend summit meetings where he’ll be expected to participate with more than “you’re a bad leader, you’re fired.”
And all of this is BEFORE he has to deal with the Congress, the press, the Supreme Court, and the people.
His life as he’s lived it for seventy years is done. Period. And until Obama and Ryan and McConnell talked to him, he truly had no idea of what he’s getting into.
Don’t be surprised if he either resigns halfway through (just like his sweetie-poo Sarah Palin) or literally drops dead from the strain.
I also read an article about how they’re going to have to take away his phone and give him a new, high-security phone, because otherwise it’d be a security issue … which means no more 3 AM tweeting for this poor, poor man. XD
myblog 