So, I said this in a much more polite and respectful way a while back, but I got up on the wrong side of the bed today and I am 100% salt right now, and it deserves a reiteration:
The reason that gay men are invested in rigid sex roles in the first place is because straight people have hammered it into our heads that one of us has to be the “woman” in the relationship so that we conform to their heterosexist ideas of what a relationship is.
It’s a disgusting, backwards idea which undermines the worth of submissive gay men and feeds into toxic masculinity in the gay community, so if straight women and girls could quit having arguments about which fictional character is a top or a bottom and being so goddamn convinced that they can just “tell” by the way a man looks or acts if he would like it up the ass, that would be fucking phenomenal.
I’m normally quiet on the front of the objectification of gay men in fandom, because it’s mostly harmless, and even does good things for women in terms of relating to and processing sexuality in a way that has a safe amount of distance from their real-life sexuality, but this is one area that just really rubs me the wrong way.
TL;DNR:
Listen up ladies: it’s not about who has stubble, it’s not about who’s taller, its not about who’s got thick thighs or a nice ass, it’s not about who wears his emotions on his sleeve, it’s not about whose dick is bigger or whose hair is longer.
Anal sex is about who ate Chipotle last.
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