My boyfriend is still traumatized from his last relationship.
The first time my boyfriend had sex with his old girlfriend she tried getting him drunk by lying and saying his drink had no alcohol in it and when he wouldn’t drink it she started fake crying, saying how he doesn’t want to have sex with her because he doesn’t think she is pretty and said she would slit her wrists if he wouldn’t fuck her because she doesn’t want to be alive without him. My boyfriend told me right after they finished he ran into the bathroom to throw up.
Afterwards she started getting more and more controlling and moved in with him making him cut contacts with his family and started stealing his phone to text his friends pretending to be him to ruin their friendships. He hated being around her but she had convinced him that they were meant to be together and were going to get married. Whenever someone at his job got sick he would try to be around them in the hopes of getting sick too because he knew how much of a germaphobe she was and if he was sick she wouldn’t force him to have sex that night like she did every night. But eventually she made him quit work too because he had 300,000$ in a trust fund and they could just live off that.
The first time she hurt him so bad he had to go to the hospital was when his car broke down and he was 40 minutes late for getting home. She assumed he had cheated on her so she started wreaking their apartment and threw a glass at him that hit him in the eye cutting into his cornea. When the emergency room doctor asked what happened and he told him how his girlfriend had done it the doctor just chuckled and said, “You would think someone as big as you could handle a girl like that no matter how feisty she is.” Every time after that he went to ER none of the doctors even asked how he got hurt. He has permanent damage to his vision.
After 5 months she had spent 2/3 of his entire trust fund on purses and clothes and shoes and a new car for her and she started getting more angry and abusive since the money was running out. My boyfriend was to afraid to tell anyone about what was going on or call the police because he knew that she could just tell them that he had beat or raped her and knowing how much bigger he is then her they would take her side. She constantly threatened to lie and say he had raped her and have him sent to prison for things as small as him not buying her an expensive gift she wanted.
Finally a neighbor did call the police about the noise when she was wrecking his stuff and as soon as they got there they had my boyfriend in handcuffs. They wouldn’t even listen to what he was saying and were about to bring him down to central booking when the neighbor came out and explained it was his girlfriend who was breaking the things and how my bf wouldn’t hurt anyone. After the police found that out they uncuffed him and just left.
After she had spent the last of the trust fund money he found out she had been cheating on him with more than one guy the entire time they were together and she broke up with him.
About a year later he found out that she had been arrested for embezzlement when her boss found out she had been stealing from the salon she worked at. She immediately accused her boss of rape and he ended up dropping the charges for her stealing from the company.
My boyfriend and her were only together for 9 months. Today my boyfriend is 24 and cries in his sleep when he has nightmares about when they were together. If anyone even mentions her in front of my bf the blood will just drain from his face and he usually has to excuse himself. He is literally the sweetest and gentlest and kindest man you could ever imagine and it makes me so mad that there are feminists out there who think him opening up about what happened is him trying to take the spotlight away from female abuse victims. Or that they can try and blame him for not leaving her and act like what happened to him was a joke and try and make it harder for other men to be able to come forward with their stories or even just deny all the statistics and claim he never was a victim of abuse since men don’t get abused.
Please feminists if you are reading this just stop. I don’t get how you can go about your day and act all high and mighty knowing you are literally just hurting people.
We as women need to recognize and acknowledge that we are extremely privileged in how our words will almost always be taken seriously over a man’s, and how our abuse of others isn’t recognized as abuse. Modern “feminism” is only further encouraging this privilege, and not only is that NOT equality, but it is dangerous and disquieting. Our justice system is not just. It won’t be just until women are held accountable for their actions to the same degree as men. I don’t want to live in a world where female rapists are seen as imaginary, mothers who kill their children rarely receive satisfactory sentences, and where men can be violently assauted by women, yet are still assumed to be the one at fault, even if that world allows me to cry my way out of a speeding ticket.
The story above should never have happened. This man shouldn’t have had to feel trapped in an abusive relationship. That doctor’s first response should NOT have been to imply that this man “should have been able to handle himself” (the fuck is he supposed to do to stop flying glass, doc? Use the Force?). That police officer should NOT have immediately placed this man in cuffs, and ignored him. He should not still be brought to tears just thinking about the nightmare he endured.
Because this happened to a man, it’s doubtful that this post will make it past 2k notes. If it happened to a woman, it would be past 100k notes by now, and everyone would be calling for a beheading at dawn. There would be constant cries of “This is why I need feminism!”. But, because the man is the victim, this story will disappear quietly into the ether, never to be spoken of again.
It’s time to stop ignoring these things, ladies. Our privilege is NOT worth anyone else’s suffering.
Dear Feminists,
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